ZANE, MEET THE ASHIDA FAMILY

CHAPTER 12 / BETTER THAN ME

NANA

For the first time in my life, I hadn't said an entire word during dinner with my family. I'm usually social with my siblings, like that. 

I almost felt nauseous.

Zane must've thought I was acting up or something. When mum and dad announced we could be excused from the table, I got up grabbed my phone and ran upstairs into my room. I left the door open and flopped onto my bed. 

I knew Zane was chasing after me, he'd never let me be sad or upset and just ignore it. Zane would do something about it. I dug my face into the sheets and just cried, I didn't know what else to do. As I said, I'm not the emotional type, I'm not sentimental. But, today I was. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Zane is my first boyfriend ever, to have met my family, know my secrets and even call me by my real name. I'm a whole lot faster than Zane, he was still climbing up the stairs when I began crying. 

As Aphmau always said, Zane was always a fat little nugget. I don't know why I was crying. I felt so embarrassed, not good enough, unwanted, burnt, sad. The past had come back to my head. Bad memories backfire. Being in my childhood home made it worse. It was as if I was back in the past. As if time was reversed. 

ZANE

Man! Nana's fast. Especially when she's upset. I could tell throughout the whole dinner. When I finally reached her room I stood in the doorway, catching my breath. She was on her bed crying, looking hurt mentally.

"Nana? Are you okay?" I asked, walking in and closing her door, "What's up?" I asked again, sitting on her bed, by her side, "Nana, why are you crying?" 

She finally got up and wiped her eyes.

"I-I-I-I don't know," she stammered. "It's... I felt like I did when I was younger. I know my parents were happy to see me and stuff like that, but I felt ignored," she explained.

"They did try to talk to you..." I said, trying to be helpful.

"I know. But I didn't want to talk to them, not after everything they put me through when I was growing up," she said. 

"What did they do to you?" I asked. 

"They bullied me, took my stuff, teased me, didn't ask me to join them in their video games and things like that," she explained. 

"Well, my brothers did that to me as well," I added.

"You know the feeling of being under someone's shadow. I had older sisters who ignored me, even younger sisters who did the same thing. I guess I was crying because I thought everyone was better than me." 

"How were they better than you? You're amazing, kind, funny, loving," I listed. 

"They're better than me because everyone had families, big businesses. I guess I felt jealous, I only have you, as a boyfriend."

"So, you're saying that I'm not good enough?" I joked. 

"No!" she exclaimed, "It's just that, Zane when are we going to become something more? We've been dating for two years now, when are we going to become something like Aphmau and Aaron, for example." 

"Wasn't the next step on our checklist to meet your family?" I asked.

"Well yeah..." she said, realising what I was saying and how she was feeling.

"How about we enjoy our time here, I want to get to know your family." She shrugged reluctantly in agreement. 

"And apparently, our parents were good friends in high school, that's positive, isn't it? We already know our parents approve of each other. Heh, not like Aphmau's and Aaron's parents, they usually got on each other's nerves," I explained, and she laughed. 

"I never thought that my mum would be part of the 'Beyonce fangirl group,'" she said, almost making sure to add the air quotes.

"She proved it today," I said while laughing. 

"You know, throughout my whole life, I've been staring at this photo, always wanting to know who the babies in the photo were, but I think I know." she walked over to the photo display and pointed to a photo with 5 babies on it. 

"Hey, that looks like Garroth!" I said pointing to the blonde baby in the photo. 

"I was just thinking that," Nana said, beaming. 

"Hey, I may have a similar image to that, mum sent me an image last month, it may decipher who they all are," I said. 

"Awesome!" Nana exclaimed.

Her cry had turned upside down, better for me, I really can't function without Nana or even see her smile. To be honest, I cry when we've had a fight, and not been together for a whole week. I know that she does the same...

WORD COUNT: 798