To Love in Full

Chapter 21: Resfeber

Resfeber (n.) The restless race of the traveler's heart before the journey begins, when anxiety and anticipation are tangled together.

*WARNING: Spicy Mature Content. Proceed at your own discretion.*

Arabella's P.O.V.

Let bygones be bygones.

Forgive and forget.

Learn to put the past behind us as we pursue the future.

These phrases crossed my mind as I continued to reflect on the relationship I've formed with Nicolo. I've began to lose all resentment and hatred; I no longer felt any animosity towards him. A life bounded by grudges and rancor is a life lived with gloominess and limits. The ability to forgive is one of the most difficult deeds an individual can commit to, but a simple change of heart is all that is needed.

Refusing to forgive is the equivalent of depriving oneself of bliss and growth in life. The person that benefits most from this feat is not the one forgiven, but the one who forgives. I've started to feel a sense of courage and strength within myself as I began to see Nicolo under a different light. Without the world of the mafia he was steadfast, earnest, and diligent. Maybe even desirable.

A knock at my door brought me out of my thoughts as I placed my last folded shirt into my suitcase.

"Come in," I called out as I stared at my suitcase, wondering how I was going to get it to close.

"Have you finished packing?" the voice asked and I turned around to find Nicolo standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, all done!"

"You left this in my room," he said as he handed me my medication.

"You need to take one for today," he added sternly.

"Yes, today, 'F' for Friday. I'll take one later when we land," I replied with a grin on my face that widened when he rolled his eyes at me.

As I turned around to place the container into my suitcase, I heard Nicolo's footsteps travel towards my books that I laid out on the dresser.

"Ooohhhh, don't touch that!" I squealed out in embarrassment as I saw him flipping through my scrapbook.

"What is this?" he asked as he looked at the pictures and memorabilia I taped inside.

"They're just pictures that I have of my travels and friends from the university," I replied as I stood beside him.

"And this?" he asked as he traced his finger over a brush.

"That is the first paintbrush that I used for my first art class in Italy. I have a lot of stuff in here that were a part of an important event in my life," I answered.

"I just like to keep pieces of my memories in here ," I said softly as I placed my hand on the sentimental book.

I turned back towards my suitcase to check that I had everything as Nicolo continued to flip through the pages. I dug my hand through a hidden compartment and sighed in relief as I felt the folded paper. I decided to keep the number that Alexander gave me just in case an emergency ever did come up.

"Arabella," he said as I quickly pulled away from my suitcase.

"Yes?"

"About our lesson yesterday," he trailed on.

"I doubt that you'll come across a situation like that, as my men are ordered to keep eyes on you at all times when you leave this estate, but if you find yourself in those circumstances and I am not there with you..." he said as he took a deep breath.