To Love in Full

Chapter 41: Aspectabund

Aspectabund (adj.) Letting or being able to let expressive emotion show easily through one's face and eyes.

Arabella's P.O.V.

Hot steam drifted towards my face as I held out my palm to feel the warm water patter against my skin. I began to remove my clothes for the shower Nicolo had started for me, but a light knock sounded at the door as I slipped off my sweater.

"I brought you towels," he said as I slightly opened the door.

"Thank you," I said softly as I opened the door wider.

I reached out for the towels and quickly held them against my waist to hide the injuries that formed on my body. I began to close the door, but winced in pain when I applied pressure against the bruises. I stumbled back when Nicolo pushed the door open against me and shivered when my bare skin met the coldness of the counter.

I wrapped my arms around my body as I was starting to feel self conscious while Nicolo stared at me blankly. My skin began to rise with small bumps as my underwear was the only fabric keeping his observant eyes from seeing me naked, exposed, and vulnerable.

I looked away from him and gazed at the floor while we stood there in silence. My cheeks began to redden as I could feel the uneasy tension between us. He remained silent while he searched for the right words to say in his clouded mind, but he seemed troubled.

"May I see?" he asked as he gazed at my body with concern, finally breaking the silence between us. I looked up at him, our eyes meeting, and I watched as he swallowed his angst while he clenched his jaw and held his breath.

I slowly brought my arms away from my waist and placed the towels on the counter. His eyes widened at the purple and blue marks on my skin as he took a step closer to me.

"Cazzo, Arabella. I'm so fucking sorry," he whispered as he brought his fingertips to my waist.

"Your ribs are bruised," he said softly as he looked down at me.

"I know," I said, my voice slightly cracking as I held back my tears. My eyes trailed back down to the floor as I couldn't stand to look at my own skin. The bruise was a dreadful reminder of what Romano did to me and what I have done to him. I let him get away. The blood on my hands and arms stained me with grief as I stood here alive and breathing, while the men that I shot were dead. I am angry at myself for being weak, for becoming a liability; I felt disgusted with my own body.

"Arabella..." Nicolo whispered as he brought his finger under my chin.

"...please, do not feel ashamed," he said. His gaze was gentle and kind as he stared into my eyes, completely melting me under his touch.

"Don't hide yourself from me..." he said as he caressed my cheek with his thumb.

"...come sei bella," he whispered as I didn't quite fully understand.

A sad smile came across my face and I placed my palm over his fingers as I brought his hand back down. He gave me a slight nod and pressed his lips into a line before leaving me to wash off in the shower.

I believe a few minutes had gone by since Nicolo left, but I was starting to lose track of time as all I could focus on were the droplets of water collecting the dried blood as it streamed down my body. The sound of the bathroom door opening caught my attention as I stared at a blurry figure through the translucent frosted shower glass.

"Nicolo?" I called out as I turned off the water.

"I brought your clothes," he said as I slightly opened the shower door and peeked through.