To Love in Full

Chapter 50: Fanaa: Part 1

Fanaa (n.) Destruction of the self, destroyed in love.

Arabella's P.O.V.

The weight of the cabin shifted and creaked against the strong winds that caused the trees to sway gracefully in the moonlight and the leaves to swirl and rustle along the forest floor. Rain began to leave the dark ominous clouds as the sound of droplets pattering against the windows put me into a state of drowsiness. I allowed myself to sink into Nicolo's body as his muscular arms held me closely to him, but the sound of a frightening bang jolted us awake.

"Cazzo," Nicolo exclaimed as I watched him grab a gun from the nightstand (Fuck).

"Are you okay, Arabella?" he whispered to me while he cupped my face in his hand.

"What's happening, Nicolo?" I asked worriedly as the banging noise became louder and more violent.

"Don't be afraid, tesoro," he said as he took my hand and gently guided me off the bed.

"Stay close and keep your eyes on me. Do you understand?"

I nodded my head and let out a shaky breath as I followed him outside of the bedroom door. My paranoid thoughts continued to stimulate my anxiety as images of an intruder, breaking into the cabin, crossed my mind, but I reassured myself that I was safe with Nicolo.

The chilling sound reverberated throughout the hallway, surrounding me with the feeling of uneasiness as it became more threatening with every cautious step we took towards it. As we turned a corner, a gust of wind rushed past our bodies and sent shivers down my spine while we met the source of the daunting sound.

"It's just the window shutters," Nicolo sighed in relief, observing the shutters as they swayed in the wind and collided against the wall.

"I-I'm sorry, I guess I missed these windows when I went to close the others," I apologized while I watched him lower his gun and close the windows.

"What did I say about apologizing?" he asked teasingly, narrowing his eyes as he placed his gun in the waistband of his sweatpants and slowly approached me.

"Nicolo!" I giggled as I wrapped my legs around him when he lifted me from my waist.

"You don't ever have to apologize to me," he said as he walked us to the bedroom.

He set me down slowly onto the mattress and proceeded to find comfort alongside me in the warmth of our bed . I turned towards him, gently placing my palm against his cheek and feeling his jaw tense under my touch as I admired the intimacy that has grown between us.

"What are we?" I asked softly.

"I'm afraid I cannot answer that question for the both of us as I've come across a barrier in understanding our relationship myself," he replied in a raspy voice, and I slightly frowned at his response.

"I believe that you have become the most dangerous threat I will experience in my lifetime, because you are disguised as a blessing, Arabella," he whispered to me as he caressed my cheek and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"There are no words that can define the feelings which I have grown for you, but know that I am more fearful of you than death itself. I am afraid of upsetting you, causing you disappointment, and putting you in a position that may cause you even the slightest feeling of stress," he continued and my eyes softened as I watched him think about the next words that would leave his lips.

"Knowing that I have hurt you would cause me more pain than life in the mafia has brought to me. This life that I live shows no mercy when it comes to death, but if you simply walk away from my life, if I lose you, my enemies would watch me fall as only having you as a distant memory would kill me."