AJR incorrect quotes

Chapter 5

Adam: stop having dangerous things!

Jack, holding a sharp object: but I like sharp things!
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Jack: What's the fucking point? Why do I keep trying when I'm always falling on my face? This isn't fair; I'm a good person. I might as well end it right here right now.

Adam: What's wrong with Jack?

Ryan: He lost his hat.
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Ryan: What does STFU mean?

Jack: Shut the fuck up

Ryan: Ok
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Adam: Do you believe in god?

Rayn: Well, SOMEONE out to get me
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Jack: if you find me during hiding and seek, I'll fucking kill you.
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Ryan: please don't tell Jack I made bacon in the toaster!

Jack, just getting home: what the hell happened here?

All six firemen: he made bacon in the toaster
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Cop: You're also wanted in Pennsylvania for kidnapping

Jack: Oh, it's still kidnapping even if you bring them back, my bad!
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Jack: I apologize for saying fuck in front of Winter.

Ryan: You just repeated it.

Jack: I am not a role model.
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Ryan runs up to Jack: HELP! I accidentally broke Adam's bass. How much time do you reckon I have left to live?

Jack: 10

Ryan: What?

Jack: 9
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Ryan: whenever I go to a hotel, I take a bite out of the soap and confuse the shit out of the maids.

Adam: SO YOU ARE THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN DESTROYING MY SOAPS!
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Adam: What do you call disobeying the law?

Jack and Ryan: A hobby.

*Adam crosses his arms*

Jack and Ryan: That we do not engage in.
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Adam: I was born for politics, I have great hair, and I love lying.
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Jack: Be careful; I thrive on negative attention.
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Jack: You fuckers don't know about my knife stick. It's a knife taped to a stick and the ultimate weapon.

Adam, not looking up from his book: Spear.

Jack: BLOCKED.
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Ryan, wearing a huge neck pillow that squishes his face: I feel so stupid; Jack, do you feel stupid?

Jack, wearing the same neck pillow: yes

Ryan: cool, I'm so glad we feel stupid together
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Jack, hungover: Please tell me I imagine that I claimed I was king of the pigeons.

Ryan: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of all pigeons.
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Ryan: Adam, you can't just kill somebody in public.

Adam, giving a deadpanned stare, holding a stranger by his shirt collar: they told Jack he was annoying and that he didn't understand how anyone could stand him.

Ryan lacing up his shoes: on second thought, let me rip out their intestine.
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Jack: Murder is like potato chips; you can't stop with just one.
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*Jack and Ryan sneak into Adam's house to scare Adam*

Ryan: Don't say a word.

Jack: Fergalicious.

Ryan: Jack! What did I say?

Jack: Oh, I see; two weeks ago, when we played scrabble, it wasn't a word, but now it is; how convenient for you.
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Adam: Don't you have any dignity, Jack?

Jack: Uh, no.
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Interviewer: What's your sleep schedule?

Jack: Bold of you to assume I have one.
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