AJR incorrect quotes

Chapter 33

*Jack holding a can of hairspray and 60 matches in the apartment*

Adam: your odds of coming back to life are slim to none
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*when AJR was younger*

Their parents: boys be good; Adam is in charge while we're gone

*The door shuts, and they leave*

Jack, knowing Adam will lock him in his room as time out: those stupid parents
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Adam: college was like a four-year game show called, do my friends hate me or do I need to sleep? But instead of winning anything, you lose $120,00.
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*Ryan says some shit in french during a fight*

Jack: OH NO, DO NOT FRENCH ME RIGHT NOW; I DON'T WANT YOU TO TALK SHIT TO ME IN A LANGUAGE I DON'T KNOW!!

*Ryan lows his voice and swears in french towards Jack*

Jack: FUCK YOU!
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Adam: Jack Met, get in the damn car by yourself, or I'll get you in there even if I have to do it in pieces

Jack, extremely drunk: would you love me if I was lego and you had to build me piece by piece?
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Ryan: in terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin
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Jack: I quit drinking because I used to drink too much, and then I would black out and ruin parties
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Adam: All right, that's it! That's it! You two leave me no choice. No Mario kart for a week.

Jack and Ryan: WHAT?!

Adam: I am so serious, guys.

Jack: YOU'RE FUCKING HIGH!

Ryan: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!

Adam takes remotes: This goes in the wall safe, and it will stay there.

Jack: This apartment is a fucking prison!

Ryan: On the planet, Bullshit!
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Jack: Okay, Ryan. It looks like we're going to be working together. But that doesn't mean I have to like you!

Ryan: I didn't like you first!

Jack: I didn't like you before I met you!
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Jack: Did we just become best friends?!

Shay: woof (Yep!)
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Ryan: Can we sleep in your room tonight?

Adam: Why, what happened?

Ryan: We played with an ouija board and cursed ours, and Jack isn't much help. He doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he's throwing salt at them and yelling, "Does this look like a hotel to you?!"
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Adam to Jack: It has come to my attention that answering 'how are you with 'not dead yet' may be alarming to some people.
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Ryan: You look mentally ill.

Jack: I am. Let's go.
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Ryan: Okay, I have a plan.

Adam: I hope it turns out better than your plan to cook rice in your stomach by eating raw rice and then drinking boiling water.
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Adam: I no longer wish to adult. From now on, I shall remain a cozy burrito. If you need me, I'll be in my fluff tortilla.
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Ryan: Does someone care to explain why we have six dogs in our apartment?

Jack: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve the gold. I did this for us.
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Jack: alright, listen up, you little shits

Jack: not you, Shay, you're an angel, and I'm glad you're here
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