Jack: what are you doing?
Ryan, lying on the bed, wearing sunglasses and sipping iced coffee: being sad.
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Adam: Ryan, we have to talk.
Adam: You can't keep reciting poetry and crying at 3 am.
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Jack: um, Ryan, why is your child staring at me like that?
*Baby Winter wide eyes, stuffed animal in his arms, in some trance*
Ryan: um... I'd love to know... want to go to Uncle Jack, Winter?
Jack: no, Ryan, no, I don't know if-
*Baby Winter close to tears, reaching for Jack*
Ryan: come on, he won't bite.
Jack: Fine
*Baby Winter giggles and pokes at Jack's hair and face*
Ryan: aww, he thinks you're pretty! That's too adorable! Oh no, I feel the tears coming, here, take him, take him... this is more than I can bear.
Jack: he does look just like you- ow! Ry help! He won't stop poking me!
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*When they were kids*
Their dad: Why are there little handprints on the wall?
Adam, to Jack and Ryan: Why are little handprints on the wall?
Ryan: because I have little hands
Jack, to their dad: Because Ryan has little hands.
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Ryan: Jack, I'm home! Where are y-
*Jack sitting on the floor surrounded by dogs*
Ryan: What the fuck-
Jack: Can we keep them...please?
Ryan: No! There are too many!
Jack: Please
Ryan: ...Fine.
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Jack: Hey Adam, are you awake?
Adam: What?
Jack: Are you awake?
Adam: Who the fuck do you think said "what"?
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Ryan: I accidentally lost Shay
Jack: Well, I'm accidentally going to kill you
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*Ryan sneaking through their window*
Adam, spinning around in his chair, flicking a single light on: you want to tell me where you've been all night?
Ryan: I was with Jack
Jack, falling from the ceiling and stands up: Wanna try again?
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Ryan: You drink your coffee black, Adam?
Adam: Yes.
Ryan: God, who hurt you?
Adam: Alphabetically or chronologically?
Ryan: Let's forget I asked.
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Adam: What are you hiding from me?
Jack: Nothing...
Adam: Jack.
*Jack slowly pulls a puppy out of his coat*
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Alba: I think I am in love with Jack.
Adam: I'm sorry?
Alba: I said, I think I'm-
Adam: No, I heard what you said; I'm just sorry for you.
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Jack: so I got kicked out of the studio because I'm a "annoying" and "reckless" and "Jack."
Jack: the last one is my name, but you should have heard Ryan's tone.
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Ryan: How's the prettiest person here?
Cat, flustered: I-
Jack from across the room: I'm great, thanks!
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Jack: Ew, there's a spider...kill it
Adam, picks it up: Aw, no...look at him, he's cute!
Jack: I hope it bites you.
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Ryan: I'm about to drown oppositely.
Adam: dehydrate. The word is dehydrate.
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Jack: what if I poured coffee into my cereal instead of milk?
Adam, taking the pot: what if you didn't?
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Jack: Okay, well, I never think of money as an issue.
Adam: That's because you have it.
Ryan: You make a good point.
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YOU ARE READING
AJR incorrect quotes
HumorThese are just things I thought about AJR at 3 am ⚠︎ sᴛᴏʀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ: sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ⚠︎︎ 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝑯𝒂𝒕𝒆 = 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌 Finished: February 2, 2023
