Adam, in line at a coffee shop: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with, uhh, seven espresso shots?
Jack: Jesus Christ, do cocaine.
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Jack: Astrology is fun because I can pretend that all of my behaviors result from being a Leo and not symptoms of mental illness.Ryan: Being a Leo is a mental illness. That's not hate. It's just a fact.
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Cat: My future boyfriend must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized.*Ryan steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to his knees and sob while apologizing to it*
Cat: That one. I want that one.
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Alba: Imagine he's playing basketball, points at you, and says, "this is for you," and then completely misses.
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Jack: If you wake up much earlier than normal, you feel secret emotions.Ryan: One time, I just woke up at 7 am and stared at the sunrise for an hour. I don't know what those emotions were, but they sure were a lot!!
Adam: If you stay up late enough, you feel those same emotions, but the wrong version.
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Adam: You bought chocolate cheesecake?Ryan: Just for an emergency.
Adam: What kind of emergency? Nuclear war?
Ryan: Depression.
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Jack: Ry! Check out this new shirt I got!Ryan, not looking up from his phone: That has to be the ugliest shirt I've ever since in my life.
Someone random: Yeah, it looks hid-
Ryan: What did you say, ya little fucker?
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Adam: Jack just texted me back "lmao" from the other room. I hear no laughing, No ass hitting the floor; I'm living with a laugh liar.
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Jack: Do you have a self-care routine?Adam: Keep Saying "keep going bitch" to myself in different accents.
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Ryan: Jack is missing. Can you find him?Adam: Do you think I have Jack microchipped or something?
Ryan: Well, do you?
Adam: of course I do; hang on
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Alba: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you.Jack: Yeah, well, you're stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.
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Jack: If you got arrested what would be the charges?Ezra: Theft.
Austin: Disturbing the peace.
Arnetta: Aggravated assault.
Ryan: Arson.
Adam: All of the above. In that order, probably.
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Ryan: Say no to drugs.Jack: Say yes to drugs.
Adam: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.
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*How Jack would Insult Someone*Jack: You rude gardening tool!
Person: Did you just indirectly call me a hoe
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Jack: I can't do that! It's against my moral compass!Adam: your moral compass is a fucking roulette wheel
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*Murderer chasing Ryan around the house*Ryan: Alexa, play the Scooby-Doo theme song.
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*Jack walks up to the microphone at a wedding, everyone expecting a marvelous speech*Jack: If you don't want your cake, pass it to me!
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Ryan: We all have a head, a neck, a body, and a sound hole, so technically, we are all ukuleles.Adam: How do you come up with these things?
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YOU ARE READING
AJR incorrect quotes
HumorThese are just things I thought about AJR at 3 am ⚠︎ sᴛᴏʀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ: sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ⚠︎︎ 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝑯𝒂𝒕𝒆 = 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌 Finished: February 2, 2023