AJR incorrect quotes

Chapter 21

Jack: You've all heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for-

Jack places a pot on Ryan's head: A thot in a pot

Ryan, getting up from his seat: Get ready for a bitch in a ditch because that's where they're going to find your body, you little fucker.
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Adam: I don't gossip; I deliver the news.
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Adam: birthdays get so much more complicated as you get older. "What do you want for your birthday," I don't know. Financial Security? A stable job?

Ryan: A nap would be nice.
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Ryan: Why do I always crave soup?

Jack: You want your insides to be even wetter.

Adam: PLEASE do not say that.
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Adam: I'm going to eat the chicken breasts!

Jack, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.

Ryan: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.
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Jack: Did you know that atoms can't touch each other? And since we're all made of atoms, we've never actually felt anything in our entire lives.

Also, Jack: So to answer your question, no, I didn't push Ryan off the stage because he was in my spotlight.
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Their mom: Anyone whose name is highlighted has not completed their chores

Jack, gasps: SUCH LIES
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Their dad: Why do you put so much pressure on yourself, son?

Adam: I've getting to get perfect PHD. I'm a part of the band and trying to keep our fans happy and paying for Jack's bail money.

Their dad: Jack is in jail!?

Adam: Not yet, but soon
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Jack: I am the smartest, most skilled brother in this band.

Ryan: Is your hand stuck in that vending machine?

Jack: I paid for my chocolate; I am going to get my chocolate.
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Ryan: Would you take a bullet for me?

Adam: Yes?

*Jack angrily burst into the room*

Ryan, running away: Great, thanks!
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Adam: I heard an interesting rumor...

Ryan: Only one?

Jack: We started at least a dozen today.
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Ryan: People may hate me, but little do they know that I have feelings
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Adam to Jack: Are you making fun of me?

Adam: It's ok if you are; I'd like to know.
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Ryan, trying to ask Cat out: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Jack, screaming from the other side: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
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*Adam trying to shut Jack up to talk to Ryan*

Adam: Jack what is 6x8?

*Jack trying to figure it out*

Adam: ok, now that we have some time,
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Adam: Morning, Ryan. Sleep okay?

Ryan: Nah, I got up in the middle of the night and there was a puddle in my bed.

Also Ryan: You know how relieved I was to find out the roof was leaking.
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Ryan: Where are you going?

Jack: To either get ice-cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car
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Adam, during an argument: May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!
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Austin: Can I ask a dumb question?

Adam: Better than anyone I know.
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Adam listening to Jack: I could get herpes listening to this story!
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