Ryan: You know it takes like 0 bucks to be a nice person.
Jack: And how much does it take to be an asshole? I'll PayPal you.
Ryan: It's free, isn't it?
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Their mom sees something: adam, get that hideous thing out of the living room, will you?
Adam: Jack, mom wants you out of the house
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Ryan: What does BDSM mean?
Adam: WHO TOLD YOU THAT WORD?!!
Austin: it means bees do so mu-
Jack: being dead sounds magnificent
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Adam grabbing Jack by the shirt: SAY YOUR SORRY!
Jack: I'M SORRY!
Adam: And what are you sorry for?!
Jack sobbing: FOR SAYING YOU'RE AGGRESSIVE
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Adam: Are you okay?
Ryan, crying: yeah, it's just these onions
Jack trying to stab the onion: Yo! What the fuck did you say to my brother?
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Adam: You're smiling, did something good happen?
Jack: can't I smile because I feel like it?
Austin: Ryan tripped and fell in the parking lot.
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Jack: do you know which question I'm asked the most?
Ryan and Adam: "will you please leave the premises?"
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Ryan: Violence isn't the answer.
Jack: You're right.
*Ryan and Adam sigh in relief*
Jack: Violence is the question.
Adam: What?
Jack, bolting away with a knife: And the answer is yes.
Adam, running after him: NO-
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Alba: What kind of stuff do you like to do at home?
Jack: hang out with my dog
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Jack: I have a license to kill
Adam: Where did you get it?
Jack: I made it myself with glitter glue
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Adam: I have lived, laughed, and loved enough to know this place is not the vibe.
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Ryan: The phrase "free as a bird" is often misused. It means you don't have to pay for them. See a bird? Pick it up. It's yours now. I have 4 hawks, 10 pigeons, 23 chickens, and a penguin.
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Jack: After years of pretending to be cool and chill and down, I'm ready to embrace my identity as the highest maintenance bitch you ever saw in your fucking life.
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Ryan: no, I don't want their blood on my hands
Adam: then strangle them
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*AJR if they had an elf on the shelf growing up*
Adam: you are not to touch this elf; I will know if you do because it will always watch you
Ryan, scared: JACK, KILL IT!
*Jack sneaks out at night and rips it to shreds, and hides its remains in the wall*
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Jack: I'm confused
Ryan: why?
Jack: I just got kicked out of a church for yelling "fuck the devil," like what the fuck? I thought we hated that guy?
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Ryan: I am a responsible adult!
*Adam raises brow*
Ryan: I am an adult.
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*Jack moves to hug Ryan*
*Ryan steps aside*
Jack: Why did you move?
Ryan: I thought you were going to attack me.
Jack: I was going to hug you.
Ryan: Why would you hug me?
Jack: why would I ATTACK YOU?!?
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Ryan, googling: What to do if a snake bites you?
Google: Elevate and apply pressure
Ryan: Okay
Ryan lifts snake up: Apologies or else...
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YOU ARE READING
AJR incorrect quotes
HumorThese are just things I thought about AJR at 3 am ⚠︎ sᴛᴏʀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ: sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ⚠︎︎ 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝑯𝒂𝒕𝒆 = 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌 Finished: February 2, 2023
