AJR incorrect quotes

Chapter 26

Jack: Trust us, Adam. Have we ever put you in an unsafe and uncomfortable position?

Adam: Constantly.

Ryan: Then you should be used to it.
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Ryan: How do I make a date more romantic?

Jack: Try being more mysterious.

*Later*

Cat: So, where are we going?

Ryan: None of your fucking business
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Jack: I hate this.

*Aggressively throws Adam's comb*

Adam: That's unusual. You usually do it perfectly.

Jack: It's your comb, Adam. Ryan, please give me back my comb.

Ryan: What made you think I'm the one who hid it?

Jack: Because-

Adam: Maybe you should apologize for hiding his cand-

Jack: No.
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*Emily and Adam bickering*

Ryan: it's not fun when mommy and daddy fight, right?

Jack sighs: if they get a divorce, I want to go with mom.
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Jack: You never die a virgin because the world fucks us all somehow
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*Jack driving for the first time*

Jack: Buckle up, everyone!

Ryan fastens his seatbelt: Like this is going to save me if we crash...
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Ryan: I have one rule here, no kissing my brother

Alba: I don't think that's going to be a problem

Adam: you haven't seen him

Austin: so don't say that yet

Jack: I'm here!

Alba: wow!
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Adam: Why do you like being out in the rain?

Jack: I like splashing in the puddles, and rain is just fun.

Ryan: I'm trying to get hit by lightning.
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*Jack arriving in heaven and Ryan and Adam, casually having a conversation*

Adam, seeing Jack: alright there, Jack.

Ryan, smirking: welcome to heaven. Are you quite alright? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Jack: fucking plot twist.
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Cat: Is this the part where you tell me that if I break Ryan's heart, you'll kill me?

Adam: No. If you hurt Ryan, Jack is perfectly capable of killing you himself.
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Adam: okay, i'll go and get the wedding cake.

Jack: perfect, while you do that i'll check on the ring bear.

Adam: you mean ring bearER, right?

Adam: Jack, look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to Ryan's wedding.
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Jack: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Ryan: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Adam: The train driver sees two idiots standing on the tracks.
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Jack: Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
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Jack: Two years ago, I married my best friend. Adam is still mad about it, but I was drunk and thought it was funny to marry Shay.
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Adam: You treat an outside wound by rubbing alcohol and treat an inside wound by drinking alcohol; Science.
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Austin: If you put Jack and Ryan in a room together, who will come out crying first?

Adam: The room
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Jack: Ryan, quit following me around!

Ryan: But Adam told me to follow my dreams.

Jack: That's... What's your dream, then?

Ryan: Homicide.
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Jack: Girls will be like, "If I were a geographical feature, I would be a selenite cave," and you're just supposed to be able to figure out what that means.

Alba: What's not clicking?
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AJR's manager: I think we're missing something.

Jack: teamwork?

Ryan: cohesion?

Adam: a general sense of what we're doing?
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