AJR incorrect quotes

chapter 36

Interviewer: if you can describe yourself in two words, what would it be?

Jack: that's easy; I'm just loud and mean
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Ryan: he's not going to know how to fight back with two little sneakers coming at him.

Adam: please shut up

Jack: then I reach into his coat pocket where I planted a gram of coke, and I'll go, 'Woah, what the fuck is this.'

Ryan: and then I hit him on the torso with a telephone book because any New York cop would tell you, a phone book doesn't leave bruises.

Their dad: boys, we are in the middle of dinner; you're freaking people out.
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Adam: Ry, I want some-

Ryan: I have white chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, cookies and creme, Belgian chocolate, French chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate, bitter-sweet chocolate, Couverture Chocolate, German chocolate, sweetened German chocolate, and also La Madeline au Truffe, which is the most expensive chocolate there is

Adam: I don't even like Chocolate
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Jack and Ryan: We're bored

Adam: You guys could clean up your apartment

Jack and Ryan: We're not that bored
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Jack: I love you

Alba: What did you do this time?
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Adam: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Austin: Not if they consent to it.

Ezra: Depends on who you're stabbing.

Jack and Ryan: YES!
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Adam and Ryan, trying to cheer Jack up when he got sick during the neotheater tour: Things could be worse, you know!

Jack: How?

Ryan: How what?

Jack: How could they be worse?

Adam: They couldn't; we lied.
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Jack: I have a black belt.

Adam: In what, karate?

Jack: No, from Gucci.
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Jack: Self-care is getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Adam: No, self-care is like taking a bubble bath, putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Ryan: Self-care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self-care is when you feel the bones crack under your mighty fists!! Self-care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!

Jack: Lmao, self-care is taking your birthday cake so I can eat the frosting.

Ryan: If you touch my birthday cake, I'll make you eat your hands.
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*when AJR was younger*

Their dad, driving them from school: So how was your day?

Jack: We almost got surprised adopted!

Their dad: What?

Adam: We almost got kidnapped.

Their dad: Oh, okay.

Their dad slams on the brakes: WAIT, WHAT?!
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Jack: When I get murdered, can you ensure I become an unsolved case?

Adam: What?

Jack: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Ryan: Can we go back to the part where you said, 'when I get murdered?'
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AJR fans: huuuuhhh

AJR fans: the AJR brothers

AJR fans: I'm taking them home with me. Is that ok?

Austin: Absolutely

AJR fans are already on their way to steal them: Amazing
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Jack: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?

Austin: It isn't smirking at anyone; you are all just imagining it.

Ryan: Three of us saw it, Austin. How do you explain that?

Austin points at Adam: Sleep deprivation.

Austin points at Ryan: Paranoia.

Austin points at Jack: you're just a walking problem
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