AJR incorrect quotes

Chapter 31

Waiter: So what can I get you?

Jack: A large strawberry milkshake with two straws, please!

Alba: Aww, cute

Jack puts both straws in his mouth: Alba, look how fast I can drink it!
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Adam: if you bite it and die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Ryan: what if it bites me and it dies?

Adam: then you're poisonous. God, Ryan, do you ever listen?

Jack: what if it bites itself and I die?

Adam: that's... voodoo?

Ryan: what if it bites me and someone else dies?

Adam: well, that's just an odd coincidence

Jack: what if we bite each other, and neither of us dies?

Adam: that makes you both weird as hell if you do that.
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Ryan: if I could rearrange the alphabet, the first thing I'd do is put U and I together

Cat: if you could rearrange the alphabet, the first thing you would do is spell SEX and then laugh about it with Jack

Ryan: you know me so well
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Adam: Some people ask 'why,'

*Jack bouncing on a trampoline with a pogo stick and licking a bubble wand*

Adam: Jack asks, 'why not'
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Jack: why does the brain even overthink?

Ryan: honestly. Why can't it just shut the fuck up sometimes?

Jack: are you thinking about what Adam said earlier?

Ryan: are you thinking about what Adam did earlier?

*share a knowing look*

Jack and Ryan: yes.
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Adam: you know those days where you're like adult life is already so goddamn weird; this might as well happen.
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Jack: nobody cares what I think sometimes; Adam or Ryan will say, 'What do you think you're doing?' That means stop. They don't want to know my thought process
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Jack: when I die, would you-

Ryan: nooo, not again, Jack

Jack: when I die, would you put that picture of me doing the floss alongside my newspaper obituary
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Ryan: I lost my brother a while ago. He's dead.

Adam: Quit telling people I'm dead because you lost at Uno.

Ryan: You made me draw 4 when I was about to win; you might as well have died that day.
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Adam: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Jack: Stop romanticizing the past.
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Jack: Name a more iconic trio than my depression, anxiety, and OCD

Adam and Ryan: AJR!!!

Jack, tearing up: Okay.
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*Jack & Ryan robbing a house*

Ryan: ok, we're ready to go. have you got all the jewelry--

*Jack holding the household owner's dog*

Ryan: ...that's not jewelry

Jack: I know, but he's so cute!
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Jack: OH MY GOD, RYAN!

Ryan: Yes bitch?

Jack: I can't fit my shirts in my luggage, it's full!

Ryan: Take out what you don't need!

*Jack throws out his collection of knives*

Jack: I did it!
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*when AJR was younger*

Their parents: Clean your room, we've got guests coming over!

AJR: Oh I'm sorry! I DIDN'T REALIZE WE WERE ALL GATHERING IN OUR FUCKING ROOM!
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