AJR incorrect quotes

Chapter 37

*When Jack and Ryan first brought Shay home*

Puppy shay looking up at them: you two are no longer the Alphas of this apartment bitch!
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Adam: I will be gone for 3 minutes don't do anything stupid

*3 minutes later*

Adam: what the fuck!

Ryan: what's wrong?

Adam: what do you mean by "what's wrong?" There is a trash can on fire, and I only left for three fucking minutes.
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Adam: They're smart. Just not, like, a useful-to-society smart. You will never reap the benefits of their intelligence, I promise you, unless you have a dead body in your trunk at two AM.
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*AJR playing Scattergories*

Adam: Jack, what did you put for U.S. States that start with the letter N?

Jack: Couldn't think of one.

Adam: You're in college. You couldn't think of one state that started with the letter N?

Jack: No, could you?

Adam: Yeah, Nevada.

Jack: Never heard of it.

Adam: Ryan, what did you put?

Ryan: New Hampshire.

Adam: Ryan, is that a state? I thought that was providence.

Adam: Street names. Ryan, what did you put for a street name that starts with N?

Ryan: Nebraska.

Adam: Bitch! That's what I put!
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Jack: You can say "have a nice day," and no problem, you can't say "Enjoy the next 24 hours" without sounding vaguely threatening.

Ryan: Jack, it's 3 AM.
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Ryan: Ibuprofen and sink waters are the midnight version of coffee and a cigarette.

Adam: I'm starting to think that some of you are not okay.

Jack: Please respect our cultural dishes.
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*Jack puts his number in Alba's phone without telling her his name*

Jack: Now you have to figure out my name

Alba: Bold of you to assume I have more than ten contacts saved

*opens contacts*

Alba: Even bolder to play that game when your name starts with J
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Austin: quick, the floor is lava!

*Ryan helps Cat get onto the counter*

*Jack kicks Alba off the couch*

Adam: as you can see here, there are two types of couples.
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Cat whispering: I love you

Ryan, at the top of his lungs: CAT LOVES ME

*Jack slides Shay five dog treats because he thought Ryan would say it first*
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Ryan: Why the fuck are you this happy on a Monday morning.

Jack: It's murder Monday dummy.

Adam: Jack no.
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Ryan: I wasn't paying attention; I was too busy snickering that we both need a therapist.
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Adam: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Jack: I'm always serious, but I'll try.
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Jack: Okay. I get it. You've had a tough time; lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Ryan: Twelve, actually.

Jack: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Adam: Yours!

Jack: That's right, no one's.
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Adam: How do I get my cush to ask me out?

Ryan: Well you know how everyone always says be yourself, well don't do that.
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Ryan: We were talking about how peanut butter is so much more expensive now and I said, "yeah it's nuts."

Adam: yeah, why?

Ryan: now Jack won't speak to me, because it was offensive towards him.
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