The Epilogue - Katniss and Peeta

He's home.

*Katniss POV*

I see him as I'm walking towards the victors houses. He's digging in the garden quietly, and I move my direction to him. I didn't even know he came home. Should I feel guilty? Who knows how long he's been here? He couldn't of been here long; I would of saw him.
I walk towards him, scared to see his reaction towards me. I haven't seen him since my stunt with the nightlock pill.

I stand there, shocked. "Peeta?" He turns around and gets up slowly, looking at me.
"Hey." He says calmly, whilst I stand there. I manage to mutter out a few words, looking like an idiot.
"You came home." I barely let out, my voice cracking on the end of the sentence.
"Yeah." He says standing there. I glance down in his hands, and I see he's holding flowers. But they aren't just any flowers. He looks down at them, reading my eyes as he used always used to do.
He gestures towards the flowers. "Found these, uh, over by the edge of the forrest."

I know exactly what they are, and although the memory haunts me, I'm not mad. I just stare at those flowers—reminding me of her.
"It's a primrose." He says, looking into my eyes. All the memories start to flood back, and my wall keeping out the pain breaks. I'm left there, seeing all those memories dance along my vision. I can only think of one thing to do. I drop my bow, and start walking towards Peeta, but he doesn't flinch. Instead, he embraces me, holding me while I cry. I grab onto him and bury my face in his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Katniss." He says slowly. It's the first time anyone has mentioned her. I realize how happy I am to have someone who understands the pain; who understands the trauma. Someone who feels the pain I feel.
He holds me in the hug, and I don't want to let go. He stands there, embracing me in his arms. It's not until I finally release him from my grip, that he lets go of me. He wipes the tears from my eyes, and I feel this feeling I forgot I had.

"I'm so sorry." I say, feeling something in my heart. He shakes his head, dismissing my apology. I watch as he bends back down to plant the primrose that was in his hand, before he turns away from me.
I ask him if he wants to come over for dinner tonight—displaying my game bag. I break a half smile and he nods. If I'm being honest, this one interaction has put me through more emotions than I think I've felt in a year.
"I would love to." He says.

_

We walk back home, but we don't touch. In fact, we are almost 5 feet apart. I notice the people looking at us, judging our every move. The people judging us are the ones who came back and started to rebuild their lives.

The hob has been rebuilt—and it's nothing like before. It's almost as if every luxury that the Capitol used to have, has been transported to District 12. Im not sure how I feel about it, because I feel like I'll start to forget my memories of our old hob. Then again, I'm not sure I want to remember anything from my old life.

"I never knew you liked to garden." I say, breaking the silence. He looks at me with a short smile, but it quickly fades.
"I haven't ever really gardened." He admits. "Dr. Aurelius said I should try to find something to put my mind at peace. I've tried playing piano, I've tried reading, I've tried writing. Nothing seems to work." He sighs.
"Why haven't you began painting or baking again?" I say, confused.
"I haven't had motivation to paint. I need something to inspire me to be able to create even a sketch." He states simply, and I nod my head while looking away.

I try to find a quick answer, but I'm no genius like Peeta when it comes to thinking of what to say. The silence consumes the air until he speaks up.

"How long have you been home?" He asks, looking at the ground. I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to say a year. I can imagine the look he would give me if he knew I was home for so long and I hadn't visited him.
"A while." I say quietly. He nods and kicks a rock at the ground.

Why is it so difficult to talk all of a sudden? Usually, I'm so comfortable around him, but now it feels as if there's a barricade between us.

I'm not naive. I know I'll never be able to have the boy with the bread ever again, I just thought maybe I'd know a new person who was close to him. It's so awkward between us, and I'm not sure if it will ever really be the same. We aren't the people we used to be, and I don't know if I'm enough for him anymore.
_

We arrive at my house and I pull the game out of my bag—two birds, a turkey, and a squirrel. It's nothing compared to what I used to collect before the games, but now there's no need to obtain as much. Speaking of which, I wonder where Gale is now. I'd never want to speak with him again, I just am curious onto what he's doing now.

Making weapons, planning things, killing innocent people.
I wouldn't really be surprised with either.

"Right in the eye." Peeta remarks while looking at the squirrel. I hadn't noticed I had shot it with such precision, I was just shooting to clear my mind. "You always shoot them in the eye, real or not real?"
"Real." I look down, and I didn't know he remembered that. Maybe he is somewhat the same.

Peeta starts to cook with the stuff I have laying around my house—it's not much. Usually Greasy Sae does the cooking for me, but I've since sent her off due to me never being eager to eat.

"I thought you couldn't cook anymore?" I mumble while sitting at the table, watching his every movement.
"I didn't have a reason to." He says, looking at me. I hide a soft smile as I begin to get up, and I grab two bowls to set on the table. He sets the soup he has made in the bowls and I watch as he sits down afterwards.

"Thank you." I say quietly. I pick through the dish. It's amazing, as usual, but it's just that I haven't been eating as much as I used to. There was no reason to eat, I wanted to be with Prim, not stuck here with no purpose after killing innocent people. Part of me still wants to be with her too.

I see Peeta give me a look but I shrug it off. "Are you alright?" He asks, looking at my bowl and then back to my eyes.
"I'm fine. It's really good." He gives me a look, I know he doesn't believe me. But instead of pressuring me, he just sits there. I appreciate his kindness, I haven't been shown any in a long time.

I look at the clock and notice it's somewhat late in the evening. Peeta looks towards the clock as well and begins to stand up.

"I should be getting home. Thank you for inviting me, Katniss." He rinses off his plate and grabs his coat. Everything happens quickly, and I feel like I'm frozen. He makes his way towards the door and I feel something, but I have this hesitation. I don't want him to leave, I've enjoyed the company. But just like always, I'm at a loss of words.

"Goodnight, Peeta." I manage to say. He looks back and smiles, then heads off to his own home.

I wish I could've had him stay with me.