The Epilogue - Katniss and Peeta

Meaningful Conversations.

*Katniss's POV*
I barge through the door and run into the living room. Haymitch looks up from his newspaper startled.
"What are you doing?" He asks annoyed.
"They—I messed up. Really bad." I let a tear stream down my face. Haymitch gets up and hugs me.
"How bad?"
"Really bad." I say in between tears. "They have it on video too and there playing it on the stupid Capitol channel!"
"Nobody even watches that stuff, sweetheart."
"Yes they do!" My voice breaks. "And the worst part is he isn't even mad."
"Peeta? How's that bad?"
"Because he never gets mad! No matter what I do."
"Katniss, that's a good thing, I don't understand what the damn problem is." He says siting back in his chair. I curl into a ball on the couch and look at him.
"I told him I didn't want kids. Well, I told the cameras that, not even him."
"Did you already tell him you did?" He asks drinking a bottle of liquor. I stare at the bottle.
"Yeah." I say quietly. He gives me a look and then notices me staring.
"No, Katniss. Not the path your going down."
"One, please." He looks at me and then rolls his eyes. "You went down that path." I ring.
"Yeah, and I never got off the path." I give him a sad look and he hands me the bottle. "Peeta better not yell at me for this." He mutters.
"No, he won't." I say drinking half the bottle. "He's painting or whatever anyways."
_
I've had 2 bottles of whatever this stuff is when Haymitch cuts me off.
"You need to stop." He says grabbing the bottle.
"Why?" I whine.
"You need to go home," he pauses. "And save that whining for Peeta." I give him a death glare as he helps me to the door. I walk across the yard and stumble just a little bit. Maybe Peeta won't notice because I haven't even had that much. I open the door but it creaks. I close it super carefully and lean to see if the art room door is open. It's shut so I assume he hasn't realized I've been gone. I creep back to the couch and sit down just before I hear the door open. I try to make it look like I've been here all along.
"Hey." He says walking towards me.
"Hey." I let out and smile. His eyes display confusion but he doesn't say anything. He sits beside me and grabs my hand. I look at him and he looks confused.
"Where were you?" He asks. Crap. I didn't realize he noticed I left.
"Haymitch's." I say calmly. I can tell he smells my breath.
"Where you were drinking, right?" I stare at him ashamed. "Oh and if I had to guess Haymitch let you, even after what happened last time?"
"You don't even know what I was upset about." I say. "You didn't even see the videos."
"It's all just videos of what you said to me." He throws in my face. I look at him in disbelief and let go of his hand. "Wait—I'm sorry." I run to the stairs and climb them as fast as I can. I slam the door of the bedroom and turn the lock. I slide down the door and the tears begin to fall. I hear him on the other side begging to let him in, but I just block it out. I curl into a ball and lay my head in my knees. I know it's my fault, and if I am being honest I don't even know why I'm mad. I did this to myself, and yet he's the one apologizing. Shows how good of a "wife" I am.
_
When I wake up I see that the sun has started to set. I stand up and dust my pants off. I sigh and unlock the door, but I don't open it. If he's there, which I assume he is, then he'll come in. I walk over and sit down on the end of the bed.
The door opens and I look at the ground. He walks in and sits beside me.
"Katniss," he starts. I try to cut him off, because I should be apologizing, but he doesn't let me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't of said that and I shouldn't of yelled." I look at him and notice his eyes are red.
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of gone over there. It's my fault." I say.
"I just want to know why you don't come to me for things? We are married, you know." I give a little laugh and look down to my ring.
"Didn't want to bother you."
"You never bother me, Katniss." He grabs my hand. "I'll always be here, no matter what."
I smile and look down, I don't feel hungover but I know that will change tomorrow.
"Peeta?" I ask. "Why are you never mad at me?"
"I guess I don't see a reason to be mad." He smiles but I don't understand.
"But I always hurt you. And you never seem to care."
"You never hurt me." He says. "I do care it's just I don't care in that way."
"I didn't even talk to you before blurting out to the cameras."
"None of that matters. Besides, if you aren't ready to have kids then that's okay. Its only one thing. I don't need it." I feel the tears begin to build up in my eyes.
"But you always give up everything for me." A single tear spills out and I wipe it away.
"Katniss," he laughs. "It's alright." He squeezes my hand and looks at me.
"I just want you to know I'm sorry. I'm just scared."
"Then we won't have kids." He says. "I know your scared, and I am too."
"But you would be an amazing father."
He smiles and looks outside. "Maybe in another life." He shrugs. "Not really my biggest concern yet." I lean into him and fiddle with my ring.
Here's the thing. I don't know how I could even explain this to Peeta. It's like everything about having kids scare me. They'll be in the spotlight their entire lives. And I'd probably mess them up somehow.
"Katniss, you're shaking." He interrupts my thoughts.
"Sorry."
"Stop, Katniss. There's literally nothing to be sorry about." He rubs my shoulder and I blink back tears.
"You know I'll mess them up." I say.
"No you wouldn't. Don't even say that." He says nudging me to sit up. I look at him and he looks at me. "There's nothing for you to mess up and you haven't messed up anyone. You gave Prim the world."
"Do you really mean that?" I say and I feel my bottom lip quiver.
"I wouldn't lie to you."
I wipe away a tear and look at him. I lean in and kiss him. But it's just a soft kiss. He kisses me back and his hands sneak around my waist.