The Epilogue - Katniss and Peeta

Disagreements and Tears.

*Katniss's POV*

"I'm sorry. What did you want me to do?" I ask, while walking into the house after being absent.
"Katniss, you didn't even tell me where you were going. It was a different story when we didn't have kids. You can't be running off." He says with a frustrated tone.
"I am sorry. How many times do I have to say it? I needed to clear my head, alright?" I scowl with a tone. His body tenses and I can tell he's frustrated with me.
"You left for the whole day, Katniss. How am I supposed to explain where you went to Willow when I don't even know. They haven't seen you the entire day." He rings.
"I'm not doing this." I say, walking up the stairs. I slam the door to our bedroom behind me and fall onto the bed.

_

*Peeta's POV*

I walk into the kitchen and grab a glass of water, before leaning over the edge of the sink and letting my head fall while closing my eyes. I let out a sigh of frustration, and set the glass down.

I don't understand. She disappears to the earth's end, then comes back like everything is fine and nothing has happened in her absence. I don't understand why she runs off, and I probably never will. But a heads up, or a notice of this leave would be appreciated.

I'm brought back to reality by the tapping of someone's hand on my waist. I open my eyes and peer down to see Willow standing there with tears filling her eyes, and I carefully bend down to pick her up. She buries her head in my shoulder as I do so, and she coughs into my shirt from crying.

"What's the matter, darling?" I ask softly, swinging back and forth gently.
"I heard you yelling at Mama," she whispers in between tears.
"I'm sorry, darling." I say to her, drawing circles on her back lightly. "I didn't mean to yell, I was just upset and we were disagreeing about something." She picks her head up and looks at me. I brush my thumb along her cheek, wiping the tears strung along it.

"A disagreement?" She asks.
"It's when you don't want the same thing and you can't see eye to eye." I say simply. She nods and sniffs, wiping her nose on my shirt.
"Here," I grab a cookie off the platter and hand it to her. "It'll be our secret." I whisper. She smiles and takes the treat from my hand. I carefully move away from the kitchen and quietly head up the stairs, because I know Rye is asleep, and I don't want to wake him.

Once I reach her room, I tuck her back in and shut the light off, leaving her night-light still on. I quietly leave the room, and I sigh as I prepare myself for whatever I'm about to walk into.

_

*Katniss's POV*

I watch as the door opens and I see Peeta. I begin to turn roll away but I hear him talk and I pause.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry." He says leaning on the doorframe.
"It's fine." I say flatly, showing minimal emotions.
"No, it's not. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It wasn't my business."
"I just had to leave," I start while sitting up. "I didn't want them to see me upset."
"I don't know what happened, Katniss. But if you don't wanna tell me that's alright too." He says and I sigh, looking downwards.
"Gale called," I say. "That's why I left." He looks at me then turns to close the door, leaving the conversation to be private.

"What'd he want?" He asks while shutting the door.
"He was mad that I never told him about Willow and Rye." I mutter. "He also mentioned that I never wanted kids and I was pushed into it."
"Do you think that?" He asks quietly.

As he climbs into bed, I give him a look. "Of course not." I say. "I chose this, remember?"
"I guess so." He says shutting his bedside lamp off.

He remains silent the rest of the night. I can tell from the way his chest rises and falls as I lie on it that he's thinking. The best of his heart is unsteady. It is somewhat unsettling, due to the fact of him never being like this. I don't know why he's so perplexed by what Gale's said. I know he didn't force me to do anything.

_

I slowly wake up to see the rain in the window. I roll over and find that Peeta is still sleeping and the house is quiet. There's no point in staying in bed. Even though he held me through my nightmares, I could tell he was still agitated at me. I quietly get out of bed and walk towards the door. I open the door slightly so I can squeeze out without it creaking. I slowly make my way downstairs and walk towards the front door. I open the door and sit in one of the rockers located next to the door. All of a sudden I'm hit with all of these emotions and thoughts.

Prim visited me last night. She talked to me in a dream, told me about how she hated me. About how I let her die. I close my eyes to contain the water filling my eyes. I see vivid memories intrude my vision, memories of everyone I let die. Prim, Finnick, Rue, Cinna, Boggs, Wiress, Mags. It's all so overwhelming, seeing them all. Shouting my name, screaming at me to remember that I killed them—let them down. All of a sudden Rue steps out from the crowd and the rest of them begin to enclose me. Rue pulls me into a hug and I watch and the others circle around me like a merry-go-round.

"Katniss, this is all a dream. They don't blame you." She says in her sweet, angelic voice that I miss so dearly.
"How can you say that? I let every one of these people die." I say with a tear streaming down my face.
"You didn't. But that's not why I'm here. Ignore all of these people, Katniss. What do you see?" She asks.
"I see nothing."

"You see yourself. You see your family. Let go of them, they aren't mad. They just need you to let go." She rubs my back, it's in a familiar pattern. I almost have a sense of recognition.
All of a sudden I'm jolted awake by Peeta.

"You were shaking, another nightmare?" He asks. I can tell he's not mad, his voice is soft. I look around to see I'm still in bed.

I'm confused but then just rule it out to it being a dream. I nod my head and he pulls me towards him. I lay my head on his chest and he caresses my shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks. I don't reply. It's like my vocal chords are being stepped on, I can't talk. "Is it one of those days?" I nod my head and he sighs.

We lay there for a few moments until we hear a small knock on the door. Peeta gets up to get it and steps outside of our bedroom. I hear him talk to Willow and listen as they go down the stairs. I lay in bed for a few moments but it's not the same as when Peeta's here. Speaking of Peeta, I wonder why he's not mad. Maybe he was but then he—forgot? That doesn't make sense. I sigh and get up. I throw a blanket around my shoulders and walk downstairs. Willow turns around and looks at me and smiles.

"Morning, Mama." She exclaims. I give her a half smile and walk towards the cupboard.

_

I hear Willow go running into Peeta's art room. Peeta quietly follows behind and gently closes the door. I assume they are making something—I don't know what. I silently get up and go sit by the front door. I open the door so I can watch the rain. The rain falls so peacefully. I wish I was the rain. It falls so gracefully and it truly is beautiful.

Instead I'm here, where I shouldn't be, taking everything for granted. Prim would of loved to take my spot, being a mother. I haven't been a very good one lately, leaving and then not speaking to them. Sometimes I think of how this could've been so different, had I been in Prim or Finnick's spot.

_

I'm awoken from of my daydreams by a slight tap on my shoulder. I find Willow and her hands behind her back.

"I made something for you." She smiles, handing me a piece of paper.

I take the paper in my hands and stare at it. It's a field of dandelions, and there's a lake. In the lake there are tiny water lilies and lily pads. I see a small duck in the corner, and she has a pink bow. I feel the water building in my eyes.

"Is it bad, Mama?" She asks seeking an answer, that I don't have.

Instead of talking, I embrace her in a hug. I rub her back and let go. I stand up and take her hand into the living room. I go to one of the empty picture frames that are held up on the wall and take it down. I set the frame on the coffee table and place the painting inside. I close the frame and hang the frame back on the wall. I adjust the picture so it's even, and then pick Willow up.

Peeta comes in the room holding Rye, and stares at the wall. I'm finally able to get a few words out.

"Thank you."