The Epilogue - Katniss and Peeta

I can't.

*Katniss's POV*
*6 Months Later*
I hear Peeta whispering on the phone. I lean forward to see what he is doing, since I'm sitting on the couch. He has his back towards me and he has his one of his arms crossed while the other holds the phone.

I turn my head and grab the remote to lower the television volume. I lower it just enough so that he can't tell I'm listening but I can still try to make out what he's saying.

All of a sudden, he quickly puts the phone back on the holder and walks away roughly. He's never been the one to slam things around, always been gentle with everything he does, and his abrupt movement causes me to startle. I begin to stand up and quietly walk towards the art room. I knock on the door and open it slightly.

"What was that about?" I ask as he stands looking out the window.
"Doesn't matter." He says quietly. I make a confused face and walk towards him.
"I thought we didn't lie to each other." I remark while leaning on his desk. Something's clearly upsetting him, yet he won't confide in me.
"It's just business work." He says turning towards me. "Nothing important."

"But it caused a reaction from you. You're never like this." I say while entwining my hand with his. "Tell me what's upsetting you. I can handle it."
"We have to go to the Capitol to do an interview." I stare at him. "With the past reaping day arriving, they want all of the existing victors to go. The day has never been fond, I'm not sure why they chose the date."
"Count me out," I scoff while looking at him. I drop his hand and begin to back away. "The games are over. I shouldn't have to keep giving and giving. I'm done."

I storm out of the art room and start to walk towards the front door. I pick up my pace as I hear him encroaching towards me. I need to be alone. To consider my thoughts, like Dr. Aurelius mentioned once before. I quickly walk through the gate and start on my way towards the meadow.

As I move through town, I receive a bunch of looks from people throughout town, but it's Sunday, so the reporters aren't filming—thankfully. I finally reach a spot in the meadow to sit down and I feel the tears start to run down my face.

I can't go back to that horrid place. That place reminds me too much of my once sweet sister, who's life was filled with joy and love. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I hate that as much as I try not to, every time I think of my deceased loved ones, I immediately think of their death. It proves the Capitol a success. A success of reducing their meaningful lives to only a small association to death. We only remember their deaths, not the lives they occupied nor the achievements.

The tears flow more rapidly as I think of them. I bring my knees towards my chest, the somewhat comforting feeling of being tightly wound together. The feeling of being partially whole.

As I wipe away a few stray tears, left over from my thoughts, my head turns towards the bright blue sky. I watch as the clouds form objects in the sky. My gaze is focused on a particular cloud, one that looks to be a small flower. It resembles a primrose. My heart wants to believe it was a sign from her, letting me know that everything will be alright. But my mind knows better than to be so naive, it knows better than to believe something that's so false.

I hear a rustle in the grass and my eyes travel towards him. He begins to sit down beside me and hands me a pair of shoes, and I notice I'm missing mine.

"Thought you might want these." He says. I nod and look out over the meadow. He notices my absence of speech, but I can't fathom words to say. I feel empty, defeated. I realize I can't avoid the looming problems when he begins to sigh.

"Katniss, I would give up anything just so you would be happy." I turn to look at him. "But, I don't think we have a choice in whether or not we participate in this interview."

I look down hopelessly because deep down, I know he's right. But sometimes it's easier to be stubborn then to be brave and face your challenges.

"It's not just going to be us. Johanna, Enobaria, Annie. They all will be there. You haven't seen them in awhile, maybe it will benefit you."
"This is different, Peeta." I say. "I really don't want to."
"Everyone else agreed to it, Katniss. There isn't really an option."
"Why do you want this so badly?" I ask.
"I don't. I hate the Capitol just as much as you do. I'm just telling you what the rest of them said." He says frustrated. I know I can be irritating, but it seems as if he wants to do the interview. "I promise you I don't want to do this, darling. But we have no choice."
"I don't want to talk about that." I remark looking at him. "I killed all of those people."

"Katniss, you didn't kill all of them." He says again, for what seems to be the hundredth time. "If there's something you don't feel comfortable talking about then you don't have to. I'll manage the questions you can't."

If you asked me if I expected him to say that, I would say yes. He always does what I'm scared to. Well, except spiders. He hates spiders so very much.

"When would it be?" He looks away and then back at me.
"They want us to be there in 2 days." I nod my head slightly then look away. I spot Haymitch's geese in the distance, bringing me to my next question.

"Is Haymitch going?" I ask hoping he is.
"He refuses." He says rolling his eyes.
"I can just stay home with him then." He looks at me and shakes his head. "I'll be fine by myself, I swear. I won't do anything stupid—" I stutter but he cuts me off anyways.

"It's not that I don't trust you, I do, but they aren't giving us a choice. We're required to do this."

I feel tears begin to swell within my eyelids and I lean onto his shoulder. I try every method I can to prevent my tears, but none work. They slowly seep out of my tightly closed eyes and onto Peeta's shirt. He rocks me back and forth as I cry, whispering sweet nothings to me as I try to calm. But they do not help, because I can only focus on one thing.

I'm going back to the Capitol.

_

As I board the train, I remember all of the memories I've made here. It's a bit overwhelming to be honest. Peeta walks behind me and I stop in the entry area.

"I can't do this." I start while trying to turn around.
"It'll be fine," he says while putting his hands on my hips to guide me along.
"Don't make me do this." I cut him off while shaky breaths intervene my voice.

"Katniss, you have to." I feel so frustrated hearing that. I feel as if there's no escape. I can't do anything about this. I'm destined to be here once again. I'm forced to be here.

"Get on the train, sweetheart." I hear Haymitch's voice ring.
"Are you coming with us?" I ask while abruptly turning around.
"What's it look like?" He mumbles while boarding the steps. I sigh of some relief, but still being panicky.

At least now I have somebody to bother.