The Harsh life

Chapter 14

Giovanni- now
"You can't withhold sex anymore, it's not fair." She shouts.

I feel like all we do is argue.

"It fucking is fair, you don't wanna have this argument with me." Not after last time.

"Yes. I do." She argues.

"You won't win." I simply tell her sitting back in my chair. We're in my home office, it's late. I've been very busy and she's supposed to be asleep.

I've been busy on purpose.

"Gio." She groans. I raise an eyebrow at her. She's driving me insane at the moment. I love her so much but this whole thing is driving me insane.

"Please." She begs.

"No." I tell her simply.

"Gio please." She pleads, her eyes are welling up now and she looks like she's trying to fight back tears.

"No." I say trying to focus back down on the shit I was signing.

"This isn't fair." She tells me and I slam my pen down on my desk.

"Do you know what isn't fair? This whole arrangement. I'm not having sex with you every free minute of the day, especially if you aren't going to be mentally there. Absolutely not. If you don't get to be there, why do I?" I ask and she sighs.

"That was a one time thing." She points out. Was it? I doubt it.

I scoff and just pick my pen up.

"Gio, please don't be like this. I'm doing this for you." Don't explode. Do. Not. Explode.

I bite my tongue to stop me from saying anything at all.

She is not just doing it for me, she's doing it for herself also.

Yes because Jax is pregnant I do need to hurry this along and have a baby.

But Amara has been going on about wanting a baby for a while, she wants this just as much as I do. We're ready to take that step now.

Her face twists and she looks down.

"What?" I ask and she shakes her head.

I put my laptop in front of me and start writing up an email on it.

"Oh my god." She says and grips the back of one of the chairs.

"What?" I ask again.

"Ow." Is all she says.

I look up from my laptop and the first thing I notice is her pyjama shorts covered in blood.

"Fuck, your bleeding." I tell her and quickly stand. Shit.

"Where does it hurt?" I ask and she grips the chair harder.

"Oh my fucking god." She uses her free hand to hold her stomach.

"It- fuck." She bites her lip.

What the fuck is going on?

There is literally blood running down her legs.

"I think... I think I'm having a miscarriage." She admits. Shit.

"Your pregnant?" We haven't had sex since... let's not go there.

"It feels like the last time." She nods.

"Okay Um... sit down." I say pulling a chair out for her.

"I don't want to get blood on your chairs." She says and I roll my eyes.

"It's a fucking chair, sit down." I tell her. She groans but nods as she sits down.

Fuck.

Did I bring this on? Our doctor specifically said not to cause or be involved in stressful situations because she's a risk of miscarriages anyway it'll be worse.

"Did you know?" I ask and she shakes her head for no. Oh fucking hell. Now she really is crying and reaches for my hand. I give it to her and hold my hand over hers. There's not a lot I can do right now except for be here with her.

It takes a few minutes but she calms down and claims it doesn't hurt as much.

I use my free hand to cradle her head to my chest.

This isn't getting any better, it's getting worse.

"I'm sorry." She apologises and I shake my head.

"It's not your fault." I tell her, it's not. I wish she would stop blaming herself.

"It is my fucking fault." She argues pulling her head back. It's not.

"Amara lets not argues right now." I sigh. She just turns her head so she's not looking at me.

"How you feeling?" I ask. I wonder if it still hurts? She's really good at hiding when she's in pain when she wants to.

"I feel weird, sick, sad, and my stomach feels tense." She admits and I just nod. I'll take her upstairs and get her cleaned up and into bed.

I pick her up off of the chair and hold her against my chest as I carry her upstairs. I take her into our en suite bathroom. I sit her on the edge of the bath tub in the middle of the bathroom.

I lean down to take her shorts off, I throw them into the dirty clothes hamper.

I wet a towel and start cleaning the inside of her thighs. There's a lot of blood. Fuck. No wonder it hurt.

"I can do that." She says watching me.

"Don't worry about it." I tell her. I'm already doing it and I don't mind doing it.

"I can do it." She says reaching for the towel.

"I don't mind." I give her a small smile.

"It's disgusting." She cringes and glances down from my eyes before looking away.

What is she looking at?

I look down at myself and notice the ends of my white shirt covered in blood.

Oh fucking hell.

I take my shirt off and throw it to the same place her shorts are at.

"Gio, let me do it." She sighs. "It's my blood."

"I don't care." I admit. I really don't care. It's just blood, I've seen plenty of it and I wouldn't mind touching her blood. She's the love of my life and it's just blood.

Once she's cleaned up I carry her out of the bathroom and to bed. I put some pyjama bottoms on her.

I tuck her into bed and she's just watching me as I do so. "Are you staying?" She asks me. I would there's no point if we can't try.

"Do you want me too?" I ask and she nods.

"If you don't want to that's fine." She looks away.

"If you let me in I will." My biggest fear at the moment is her leaving or becoming numb.

"Okay." She smiles turning to the side beside her and waiting for me to get into bed.

I get ready for bed and climb into bed beside her, I keep her close to me and stroke her hair away from her face.

"Get some sleep." I tell her. I lean down and kiss her cheek. Sleep.