The Harsh life

Chapter 43

Giovanni- then
"I know, I'm sorry." Amara says gently.

Who is she talking to? It's so early.

I roll over to just look at her. I do it a lot, mostly when she's asleep but we don't sleep together that much anymore so I don't get that much time to really look at her.

I try to from across rooms, when she's hanging out in the garden, whilst she's shopping, whilst she's talking, whilst she's eating or even when she's with him.

"I'll see you later then." She ends the call, puts her phone down then returns to look up at the ceiling.

"Was that Liam?" I ask. I try my hardest not to be jealous. She's in a shit situation and I don't want to make anything worse for her.

"Yeah I think I'm going to hang out there for a few days, get out of everyone's hair." She tells me.

"You're not in anyone's hair, we all want you here." I try to tell her, she doesn't listen though. She never listens.

She lets out a sigh then glances down at the fat ring on her finger.

"Do you want to marry him?" The words spit out of me. I shouldn't have asked because once she tells me what I already know, I'll do anything to stop it.

"Santino?" She scoffs. "Hell no." She starts fiddling with the ring.

"Liam." I tell her.

It takes a minute but she lets out a sigh.

"I don't want this." She admits. "Liam is a nice guy, he's the smart choice. Im sure if we met under different circumstances then I'd want to marry him."

I fight the urge to rip that ring off of her finger knowing all the damage it's done to her, her brother and to her life.

"Do you wanna go for a drive?" I suddenly ask.

"Now?" She asks then checks her phone. "It's 3am." She tells me.

"Exactly." I climb out of bed and put my shoes back on.

Amara eyes me quickly but then follows suit by getting out of bed, she stays in her pyjamas and puts her shoes on, then follows me to the garage.

"Pick any car on this side." I tell her pointing to the side she was standing closest to, my side of the garage.

"How devastated will you be when I don't choose the Jeep." She says making her way towards the McLaran. She taps the bonnet of the Jeep and keeps walking.

She doesn't love the Jeep nearly as much as I do. That jeep is my baby.

"So devastated." I joke. "Nah I don't mind, choose any car you like." I tell her.

She leans against the McLaren and smiles at me.

I grab the keys for the McLaren and press the fob to unlock it. She squeals and then climbs into the passenger seat.

I pull out of the garage and head straight away out of this gated house with not a destination in my mind.

As soon as we're out of the gate she rolls down her window and shoved her hand out of it, letting the air breeze through her fingers as we drive down streets.

"Can I tell you a secret?" She asks as she focuses on the road a head of us.

"Go for it." I'm not going to turn her down, ever. That's my problem.

"I wish that my parents were dead." She admits. No expression on her face, she just watches me, waiting out my reaction.

"That makes sense." I glance over at her and send her a small smile.

Her family life is probably one for he worse I have seen and known. Matteo and Amara are the only good thing to come out of those two.

She doesn't say anything else, she puts the music on and puts it on the highest volume.

The houses turn into distant landscapes. It's quiet, no one else on the roads but us, it's still early no one is up yet.

I watch her smile at me out of the corner of my eye.

She takes her seat belt off and leans out the window. The New York air wraps around her as she laughs, her hair flying in several different directions.

New York suits her.

Her laugh fades into a scream as I go faster down the highway.

She needs to let out that frustration, she bottles it up till it gets the better of her.

I know exactly where to take her.

****
"This is my apartment, Matteo doesn't know where it is. I don't come here too often anymore after moving into the house. I come here to hide and so if you need that too." I grab the spare keys that stay by the door and place them in her hand.

My apartment is simple and is in Manhattan, I don't want anyone to know I'm here that's why it's just a random apartment on the 8th floor, two bedrooms, two bathrooms and open plan kitchen and living room.

"You can always hide here." I squeeze the keys in her hand before making my way towards the bedroom.

Amara follows behind me after she kicks off her shoes.

She dives on to my bed and lets out a groan as she does so.

"What?" I ask, watching her as I lean against the wall.

"It's so comfy." She rolls on to her side and sighs in content. "One happy girl." She tells me,

"Good." I smile.

She turns on her side towards the empty side of the bed and lets out a heavy yawn.

"Can I sleep here?" She asks closing her eyes. "Just for a few hours- need to see Liam." She nuzzles into my pillows.

"Go to sleep." I refrain from touching her and I just stand and watch her sleep.

She's so beautiful and it honestly makes my chest ache.

I need to pick a lane and stay in it but it's so hard when she's like this. She's so vulnerable and comfortable with me, no one ever really has been.

I need her to know she can't marry him.

She has to marry me instead.

Part of the reason is selfish, I can't feel like this forever and if I ever turn into the moping bastard Jax is I'll shoot myself.