Superstitions {Dean Winchester 2}

Chapter 1

I should probably put a trigger warning here. Uh, anything type of death, any form of dying whether that be self-inflicted or not, um, dark, very dark themes. Metal illness. Um, I'm not very good at this, but just be warned. Um, sorry. 

In My Time Of Dying

When I came to the sun was bright in my eyes. The last I remember it was nighttime. Where am I? 

My head was throbbing, everything was so loud and I heard the voices again. Multiple voice echoed through my head, all jumbled and I couldn't make out what was being said. 

Everything was just so loud.

I groan, my entire body screaming in pain. I blink, trying to let my eyes adjust to the brightness. Through the blur, I saw Dean being rushed toward a helicopter. 

Then it hit me. Everything that had happened. He was dying.

"No!" I yelled when I felt hands prying at me. "Where is he? Is he okay?" My voice cracked as I felt tears well up in my eyes. 

"Stay still." I heard a voice demand. 

"Please...Don't let him die." I begged. "Please." 

___

Even thought I was still riding the high from the pain killers I'd been given, I was not at all in a good place. I sat on the foot of Dean's bed. This was my dream where he was dying. 

Tubes and cords hooked an unconscious Dean up to different machines that monitored him. Out of the four of us, he was hurt the worst. 

I blink away the tears blurring my vision as I just stare at him. He had a cut that began at his hairline and ended just above his eyebrow that was no stitched up. He had a few other cuts and scrapes, but most of his injuries were internal.

Me, on the other hand, I looked like hell and, well, I felt like it too. I had one large gash from my hairline down to my chin. It would probably scar. I had a bunch of tiny minor cuts from the shattered glass. A broken wrist that was now in an uncomfortable cast. I had the handprint around my neck still and the bruise around my eye, both of which were fading slightly now. My arm had been sliced open.

But none of that compared the pain of finding out that the demon really had killed my family. Of finding out that my dad was also in a hospital somewhere, barely alive and I wasn't sure he was going to live either. Of sitting here watching Dean slowly die, knowing that the only thing that kept him alive were the dumb machines he was hooked up to. 

My entire world felt pointless now. My brother, sister-in-law, and niece were dead. My dad was barley recovering. The love of my life is dying in front of me. 

I wanted to die. 

Sam walked in the door. He gazed down at his brother on the hospital bed. "Oh, no." 

"I'm scared, Sam." I whisper, tears slipping down my cheeks, making the small cuts sting a little. 

"Your father's awake." A voice says, making Sam turn to look. A doctor stepped in the room. "You can go see him, if you like."

"Doc, what about my brother?" Sam asked. 

"Well, he's sustained serious injury. Blood loss, contusions to his liver and kidney. But it's the head trauma I'm worried about. There's early signs of cerebral edema." The doctor whose name I hadn't cared to learn says. 

"Well, what can we do?" Sam asked.

"Did you even listen to him, Sam? Nothing." I say. "He's dying."

"Well, we won't know his full condition until he wakes up." The doctor stated. "If...he wakes up."

"If?" Sam repeated. 

"I have to be honest, most people with this degree of injury wouldn't survive this long. He's fighting very hard. But you need to have realistic expectations, son." 

___

Sam went to visit John. I stayed with Dean. "I'm tired, Dean..." I whisper as if he could hear me. "I don't wanna live like this, without you. Without...without my family....And I don't know what's wrong with me."

I shake my head. "I...I...Maybe I'll see you on the other side, huh?" 

And with that I stood and walking out of the room. 

___

Once breaking into a supply closet in the nurse's station, I stole the pain meds and got out as quick as possible. I made my way to the women's bathroom. I walk in, making sure every stall was empty. 

I stood in front of one of the sinks, gazing into the mirror. I'll be with them again soon. 

My phone rang and I picked it up. "Miss Saige Dawson?"

"Yes, that's me." I nodded my head though the woman on the phone couldn't see me. 

"Sweetie, I hate to have to tell you this, but your father...He passed just moments ago. I needed to--" 

I hung up as tears streamed down my face. I wanted to scream but that would draw attention and I didn't need that. I felt my heart crack and shatter within my chest and it was more painful than anything I've ever felt.

I hold back my sobs, wiping my eyes. 

I pull the pain meds from my jacket, dumping almost the entire bottle into my hand. I turn on the water as I tossed the pills in my mouth. I cup my hands, letting the icy water cool my skin before I downed the liquid. 

I gulped down some more water before shutting it off and moving to sit against the wall. I pulled the letters I'd written to Sam and Bobby out. Everyone else I cared about died. They were the only two left alive that I loved. I left a note to John in with Sam's and my dad was useless now because he's gone too. 

I set them aside where they could clearly be seen. I then reach into my jacket and pulled out the pocketknife my dad gave me for my 12th birthday.

I hold out my arm that was in a cast and roll up my sleeve. I then flick the blade out. I shut my eyes, feeling hot tears slip down my cheeks. 

It'd all be over soon. I'd been with my family again and I had no doubt Dean would soon join me if he hadn't already died. 

I press the blade into my skin, drawing blood just under my elbow. 

___

Sam's POV 

I was walking around the hospital, looking for Saige. I was going to convince her to go to Bobby's with me to check on the Impala. She needed to get out of this hospital. It wasn't good for her. 

There was something in her eyes. I'd never seen it before. Normally, she's hopeful no matter what. But now? Now that light was gone and it scared me.

I called her for the millionth time. 

As I walked by the women's bathroom, I heard a faint phone cell ringing. I listen closer. Wait, that was Saige's ring tone.

I knock on the door after shoving my phone in my pocket. "Saige? You in there?"

No answer.

"Saige?" I asked more forcefully this time. 

Again, no answer.

I push open the door and immediately yell for help. 

Saige was lying on the bathroom floor, blood pooling around her in a large puddle. I rush toward her, checking for a pulse and I couldn't find one. She wasn't breathing. 

"No, no, no." I muttered. "Help! Someone help!"