Out of the Darkness

59

He was sitting on the other side of my couch, staring at the ceiling. "I don't know what to say Colby. I'll help you with the research. You know that. You just dove in so hard that I thought you might want to do this on your own. Like it was one of those things that you needed to do on your own. It's not though. This is too much. Let me help you. We'll figure it out eventually, or we'll exhaust every single possibility while trying." My heart swelled in response to Sam's reply. I loved him as if he were my actual blood brother. Hell, in my eyes, he was. "Thanks Sam," I said, smiling at him a little. "Come on," he said, clapping me on the leg. "Let's go have a night out or something. You need a break before our actual break." I looked at him, confused. "What actual break?" He rolled his eyes. "You really have been out of it, huh? Thanksgiving Colby. We're going back to Kansas for a few days, remember?" I had actually forgotten what day it was, what month even. "Oh...right," I replied. "Maybe a night out will help me clear my mind." I hoped it would. I changed, while Sam went to let the others know that we would be going out, if they wanted to join. Surprisingly enough, everyone was available. That rarely happened. Once we were all ready, we took a couple of shots of Jack that we had at the house, then headed out to meet our other friends at Saddle Ranch, which is sort of a western themed restaurant and bar. I tried not to think of Anna while I was out, but it wasn't working. She was always in the back of my mind. A few girls tried to come up and talk to me, but I just wasn't feeling it. So I walked off. Probably not the nicest thing I had ever done, but with the mixture of alcohol coursing through my veins and the way I was feeling, I didn't honestly care at that moment in time. Thankfully, there weren't any fans asking for pictures or anything. I really didn't think I had it in me to fake smile or anything tonight. Sam shoved a beer across the table to me, and I met his eyes. "Drink up. You're still thinking too much." I didn't even deny it, or pretend like I didn't want the drink. Tonight was one of those nights, where I just wanted to drink until I forgot. So I did. The more I drank, the less I thought about Anna. The less I thought about Anna, the better my mood got. Probably had to do with the amount of alcohol that I had consumed as well, but still. Later that night, or early morning, I guess, after Corey and Sam had helped me up to my bed. I lay there with my eyes open, watching the ceiling spin. When my stomach started to spin with it, I closed my eyes. Sadly, my subconscious seemed to still be stuck on Anna. She was stuck somewhere, lost, calling out to me, only I couldn't find her. Every time I thought that I was getting close to the sound of her voice, it would change direction, sounding from far behind me. I called out to her, telling her to tell me where she was, so that I could help her, but she just continued to scream my name. When I woke hours later, the sun was up, shining directly into my room. I was sweating, though I wasn't sure if it was from the rising temperature in my room, or from the dream that I had. Either way, I kicked out from under my blanket, and sat up, feeling my stomach heave at the same time. "Oh shit," I groaned, then lay back down slowly. Maybe not a good idea to mix whatever alcohol I had mixed last night. I barely had any recollection of it at all. After I lay there another moment, I sat up slowly, and made my way to my bathroom. A hot shower should help the hangover...hopefully. Once finished, I wasn't one hundred percent but I was probably as good as I was going to get. I called my mom, to talk to her about the upcoming weekend, and just to hear her voice. It had been a little while since I had spoken with her, and I usually spoke with her at least once or twice a week. She was excited that I was coming home, and honestly, so was I. I talked with her a few more minutes then got up to throw a few sets of clothes in my bag, just to be kind of ready to go. I knew that I would wait until the last minute to finish up, but this was enough for now. As I dropped the bag just inside my closet, I noticed Anna's doll sitting on the floor next to the footstool that I usually sat her on when she was in here. Hadn't put her inside the closet in a while though...maybe Sam had done it. Actually, that seemed like something he would do. Probably when he helped me to bed last night. I picked up the doll and brought it back into my room with me. When I sat down on the couch, I held her out in front of me, and stared into those blank emerald green eyes. Only, they weren't blank today. There was a little fire burning behind each one, emitting a slight glow to the eyes. The longer I watched, the brighter it got. "Anna?" I whispered, unwilling to get my hopes up, but unable to stop them from rising at the same time. The glare from the emerald eyes got so bright that I shielded my face, and dropped the doll accidently. She landed on the floor with a soft thud. "C-Colby?" I jerked my face up, looking all around the room, hoping to see Anna's face to match her voice. Only she wasn't there. "Look at you now Colby. Hearing things. You should stop drinking and stop researching. Doesn't look like she's coming back," I muttered to myself, as I leaned over to pick up the raven haired doll. Just as my hand reached the doll, a set of feet, solid feet in black buckled girly dress shoes appeared by it. I gasped and snatched my hand back as I fell back into the couch. My eyes traveled up, searching for the face that I had missed. "Anna," I breathed out when my eyes met her beautiful green ones. "Hiya stranger. How've you been?" She said, then cocked a smile at me. I jumped up, without thinking, and threw my arms around her. I didn't even think about the fact that she was a ghost, or that I shouldn't be able to feel her unless she was concentrating very hard. I just knew that I had missed her and now she was back. So when my arms actually went around someone solid, it didn't register in my mind that they weren't supposed too. I buried my face in her hair, and squeezed, wanting to hug her as hard as I could.