Prompt: Dani and Santana family fluff.
"Oliver, sweetie, you really need to start picking up your toys. I keep stepping on them." Dani Torres-Lopez sighed as she leaned down to pick up a nearby car, huffing as she realized there were too many to collect.
"Sorry, Mommy." Oliver pouted as he scurried forward to help his mother, grabbing as many scattered action figures as he could fit in his arms before he leaned forward to kiss his mother's stomach. "I'll put them away."
"Thank you, baby. You are such a good little helper." Dani cooed as she reached out to tweak his nose causing him to curl it up as he crossed his eyes to look down at her finger before sticking his tongue out. "Go put your stuff away, Ollie."
"Yes ma'am!" Oliver beamed as he turned to run off, but before he could move too far all the action figures in his arms tumbled to the ground causing him to scowl with a loud huff of annoyance. "Oh man, that's just fucking perfect."
Santana Lopez froze from her spot on the couch where she had been scrolling through Twitter, her spine straightening as she turned to peek over the back of the couch where she found her wife standing there with wide eyes.
"Oliver James Lopez, what did you just say?" Dani softly growled as she set her hands on her hips watching as the four-year-old slowly turned to face her with a sheepish expression. "I know I did not just hear that word come out of your mouth."
"Um..."
Santana clamped her teeth down on her lower lip to mask the giggles that threatened to leave her mouth; she knew where Oliver had picked those words up from, she herself had used that exact word not even thirty minutes ago when she had been struggling to tie Oliver's little bowtie.
"Why would you say that, Oliver? That is a very, very nasty word. It should not be coming out of your mouth." Dani scolded as she moved closer to her son watching as the blonde child blushed and kicked hard against the tile of the living room floor.
"But mama says it all the time, she said fu...that word when she was helping me get dressed and my bow wouldn't tie." Oliver explained as he pointed to the sloppy tie that rested around his neck.
The laughter that had once been shaking through Santana stilled as she felt the looming presence of her wife suddenly appear, the younger woman swallowing hard as she glanced up to find Dani standing over her with her nostrils flaring.
"Santana Marie Lopez," Dani began in a calm, even tone as she narrowed her eyes. "Why would you even consider using that word around my baby? Are you insane? You know that I don't condone that type of language."
"It slipped out, D. I swear." Santana mumbled as she blushed lightly before reaching up to rub at the back of her head with an awkward half-smile. "You know I usually don't use those type of words around him. I'm usually really good about it."
"She also told Auntie Quinn last night that you have a tight ass, Mommy." Oliver chirped as he realized that his mother wasn't focusing her anger on him anymore, the four-year-old skipping over to wrap himself around Dani's leg.
"Oliver." Santana hissed.
Dani's eyes slowly widened before she quickly clenched her jaw and regarded the woman sitting on the couch before her, "Santana, I am barely restraining myself from strangling you right now. You need to fix this. Now."
"What do you want me to do?" Santana demanded as she threw her hands up and shot a quick look at her smirking son. "He knows they're bad words, D. He's just a kid, it won't be too hard to just beat the words out of him."
"Santana!" Dani squeaked as she reached down to scoop the small child into her arms allowing Oliver to curl his face into the crook of her neck. "You need to stop being so crude around him. Don't talk to him like that."
"Dani, you're making a big deal out of nothing!" Santana exclaimed with a light laugh as she stood from the couch, pointing her finger at Oliver. "Look, kid, you can't go around saying those words. They aren't nice, alright?"
Oliver nodded his head slowly before he furrowed his tiny brow and pulled his head away from the comfort of Dani's neck, "If they're not nice then how come you say them?"
Santana paused at the little boy's intelligence before opening and closing her mouth a few times, the Latina shooting her wife a silent look as if begging her to step in but Dani simply perked an eyebrow and tilted her head.
"Yeah, San. He does have a point." Dani agreed as she purred each word Santana watching as the woman's gaze became devious. "If he's not allowed to say them, then why should you be allowed to? It's not fair."
"Yeah, Mama!" Oliver chirped.
"But I'm a freakin adult, I think I'm old enough to say those type of words." Santana argued as she panted her hands on her hips with a shake of her head. "I'm not going to let my four-year-old son tell me what I can and can't say."
"I think maybe it's time we invest in a swear jar." Dani sang with a soft smile as she looked to Oliver who frowned slightly at the words before shrugging his shoulders in silent agreement. "What do you think about that, San?"
"I think it's stupid." Santana mumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest watching as Dani narrowed her eyes causing the dark-haired woman to sigh as she rolled her eyes. "Fine. If you want a swear jar then we'll get a swear jar."
And thirty minutes later, Santana capped a Sharpie and set an empty peanut butter jaw in front of her wife and son before glancing at Dani who lifted Oliver to sit on a stool in front of the jar before scooping it up.
"Ollie, this is a swear jar," Dani began as she tapped the lid. "Every time you say a nasty word that mommy doesn't like then you have to put a quarter in here and every time mama or I say a word that's bad you get to take a quarter out."
"Cool!" Oliver cheered as he bounced on the stool before reaching up to grapple at the jar, tugging it closer to himself with a bright smile on his face. "So, if you or mama say a nasty word then I get a whole quarter?"
"That's right." Dani nodded.
"Okay, Mama...start swearing!" Oliver ordered with a bright expression as he spun around on his stool and pushed the jar into the air so it lingered beneath Santana's nose.
"Sorry, babe. It doesn't work that way." Santana chuckled as she took the jar away from the child and moved to set it on the counter opposite of them. "You have to wait for mommy or I to say something bad, you can't ask us to."
"That's st..." Oliver stopped himself quickly as he twisted his body to face Dani, reaching up to tug at the woman's t-shirt till brown orbs met his own. "Mommy, is stupid a nasty word or can I still say that?"
"Yes, stupid is a bad word." Dani declared with a nod of her head as she reached out to brush Oliver's hair from his eyes. "And shut up is too, oh and I don't want you running around saying idiot anymore either. That's just as nasty as stupid."
"M'kay." Oliver shrugged.
"This shouldn't be too hard, I think I can manage to keep my quarters to myself." Santana shrugged as she looked at her wife with a cocky smile before glancing towards her son. "You'll be paying up in no time."
Santana released a soft whistle as she spun around on her heel and miscalculated her movement as she knocked her hip against the counter causing her to release a squeak as she curled a hand around the throbbing area and squeezed her eyes shut.
"Fuck!"
"Quarter!"
