𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐲 | ✓

37

The unbearable pounding of my head wakes me up. I groan and bury my head in the pillow. A masculine scent tickles my nostrils with each inhale. Confused, I crack open an eye. At first, everything's bleary, but thankfully the curtains are drawn, and the room is in semi-darkness. I blink a few times until the room comes into focus.

A black button-up shirt is sprawled on the sofa in the room's corner. Along with a dark pair of jeans. Neither belongs to me.

My eyes widen, and I jolt upright, sitting in the middle of the king-sized bed. The bed in my room is queen-sized.

Glacial panic grips me. Frantically, I look around. Whose room is this?

My headache intensifies, and my heart drums in my chest. I pull away the covers from my body and glance down. Gaping at my slanting neckline, and the dress that has ridden up my thighs, a horrifying realization dawns on me.

What have I done!

My gaze falls on my discarded panties lying on the ground, and my suspicions are confirmed.

I've slept with someone.

No matter how hard I try, I can't recall last night's events.

Hot tears spring to my eyes. I shove my trembling fingers into the tangled mess of my hair. Stupid stupid stupid.

I climb out of the bed, on unsteady legs, swaying slightly as the walls of the room swim before my eyes. I choke on air. Never in my life have I done something so stupidly reckless.

Flashes of Kristian's face, our heated make-out sessions flit past my disoriented mind. Things did escalate between us because I was desperate to put Spencer off my mind.

I blink away the tears, even though all I want to do is curl into a ball, cry my eyes out, and forget this ever happened.

The sound of running water from the bathroom comes, causing me to realize someone- probably Kristian- is taking a shower.

I sway and stumble to a mirror atop the dressing table. Disgust churns my stomach once I lay eyes on my reflection. My hair is an absolute mess, sticking out in odd ways, my mascara is smudged, creating dark patches underneath my eyes. What remains of my lipstick is smudged around my mouth.

I look like a goddamn junkie. The epitome of a series of fucked up mistakes and horrible choices.

Raw hatred courses through my veins. The longer I stare at my reflection the stronger it grows.

Hate directed at Spencer for screwing me up, and pushing me to this point. Hatred towards myself for giving Spencer the power to set me down this path, for being able to destroy me with the smallest of his actions.

My bottom lip quivers and I look away, pressing the heels of my palms to my temples, the headache ravaging me.

Why can't I just move on from him?

Why do I always make stupid decisions?

Why do I always fuck up?

Can't I just be normal for one goddamn day?

My mistakes are each growing worse than the other, more revolting, degrading me.

I'm turning into a person I don't even recognize. Jealousy, drinking to the point of blacking out, having sex with someone just to forget about someone else. None of these are me... yet I did them all in less than twenty-four hours.

I despise the person I'm turning to.

It has to stop.

I pull myself to my full height and try to smoothen down my hair, with no success. I grab a few tissues and find a bottle of water, carefully dabbing the tissues until they've absorbed enough water to be of any use for wiping away the remnants of my lipstick and my smudged mascara.