𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐲 | ✓

51

 "Yeah," I say, my voice barely above a whisper, as I raise to my feet.

Spencer walks in and shuts the door behind himself.

I can't tell why my heart is beating so fast, feeling like a stupid teenage girl meeting the boyfriend everyone forbade her from dating.

His gaze bores into me as he stands a pace away from the door, looking like a lost child. "You look gorgeous," he utters hoarsely and I try to smile but end up grimacing.

He draws a sharp breath. His frantic eyes sweep across the place, pausing on the wedding dress on my bed before latching back on me. Shoving his fingers through his already messy hair, he appears so unlike his usual composed self.

He strides to me and halts midway, pushing his glasses up before clasping his hands together, then holding them apart, his palms facing up. "I am a mess." His mouth opens and closes a few times as I frown at him. "But you already know that."

I blink with confusion tilting my head slightly as I watch him.

"I screw things up because I'm stupid. But you already know that too." He rubs his chin and shrugs. "I might be the biggest idiot out there, but-" he stops, his gaze jumping from one point to another as he pushes his glasses up again with jerky fingers. "This is me, all of me... but it's yours." He shakes his head. "As shitty as I am, as awful as a person I am, I have one ruined soul and one torn and broken heart, and it's yours."

"Spencer," I whimper, tears springing up to my eyes. The back of my throat closes in, making it hard to breathe.

"I can't see myself with anyone but you. I can't see you with anyone but me... I don't have much to offer you, except me and my heart. I know it's nothing, but it's all I have. And it's yours." He runs his hand through his hair, cursing under his breath as a film of tears forms before his eyes.

"I love you. Gracie, I love you so fucking much I can't—I don't want to live without you. And I'm so sorry it took me so long. I'm sorry I'm coming now, and I know it might be late... but loving you gives me the dare to try. Loving you has made me brave enough to stand here in front of you and ask you to choose me, even though I have no right to do this."

In long strides, he crosses the room and stops in front of me.

I crane my neck to meet his gaze as he grasps my hands in his. His touch still soothing as ever. 

"I love you, Gracie... you have no reason to trust me though, I know, but I'm willing to spend the rest of my life earning back your trust. If your love can make me brave enough to come here, say the things I never would've thought I'd be able to say, it shows me as long as you're with me there's nothing I can't do, and there's nothing I won't do for you."

He lifts up his shoulders and he looks away from me. "I don't have William's money nor his power, in fact, I don't come anywhere near him, but I know I'll do anything to make you happy. I can't move mountains, but for you, for us, I want to try. For us, I want to become a better man. A man who can always keep you happy. I know I said I won't come between you and your goals, but please let me stand by your side, and we'll overcome them together."

"Spencer, please." My voice breaks and he leans down to me. He's asking for the impossible.

Though, after everything we've been through, not for a second can I bring myself to doubt his words.

Surprisingly, from the bottom of my heart, I know if I give him the chance, he'll do everything he can for me.

Yet, I fear it won't be enough... and the price for the following consequences is too heavy.