The Girl With The Tattoo

8. her lips

Lexi

"So, what did Mr Adams want to speak to you about the other day?" I ask Sophie, knowing that she hasn't given me all of the details.

She shrugs "Uhm, just about the dance. He wants me to have the main part." She tells me this, which isn't a surprise because Sophie is one of the best dancers in the studio.

"Well, that's good! You're totally gonna get it. Not even the girls in my class could even compare to how good you are!" I continue on complimenting her.

I always wanted to be a good dancer. From the age of five, I knew I wanted to dance. I watched shows that had ballerinas in and I couldn't wait for the day that I would wear a tutu like those girls.

But I probably just had a crush on the ballerinas...

My mom didn't care about what I wanted though. She left when I was a kid and she couldn't give a fuck whether I danced or not! I had to pay for classes myself, getting a few part-time jobs here and there, but now money is barely coming in.

"Th- thank." She smiles at me, and I can tell that she appreciates the compliment.

And then she says "You're a good dancer too."

I roll my eyes, playfully "Come on, that's bullshit! You don't have to lie, it won't hurt my feelings if you tell me the truth."

"No! I mean it, you're good!" She tries to convince me.

"Nah, I'm not." I shake my head "I mean, I could be. Maybe if my dad started giving a shit about me then maybe I could be a better dancer. I could have better costumes, better makeup, and I'd actually be able to pay for private lessons so I could do more than one fucking pirouette!"

Before I can start to dwell on my sad life, I hear her say "I'm sorry."

I shake it off "Don't be. This life just isn't meant for me. In ten years you'll be a prima ballerina and I'll be working for some drug dealer in the city."

I look at her, and her face shows that she's concerned for me after I said that to her. Knowing Sophie, I know that she'd worry about that all night so I decide to turn it into a joke even though it's probably how my life is going to turn out.

"I'm kidding!" I laugh a little, trying to make it sound convincing "I'll probably just be working in some grocery store handing out lettuce to old people."

She giggles at that. Maybe the thought of future Lexi is funny to her?

And then, I decide to change the topic of our conversation "Anyway, did you like the video I sent you last night?" I ask her.

She laughs when I mention that "Oh my god, yeah I did! My mom thought I was asleep so I was trying to stay quiet."

I laugh too "I knew you would find it funny! Like, why did the pigeon just fall off of the roof like that?! Aren't they supposed to fly, they've got wings! It must've been fucked up in the head!" I start getting overly excited about a random video of a pigeon I'd sent to Sophie.

"Yeah, it was so weird!" She laughs, and I can't help but watch her smile.

We continue walking through the forest, taking the same route as usual, my ankles getting scraped once again by these stupid thorns that I can barely see.

We talk about things such as funny videos I send to her, my shitty life, and how Mr Adams is a total freak! But after a while, just when I can finally see Sophie's house behind the trees, I realise that I've almost forgotten something...

"Wait, I totally forgot something." I tell her, now rummaging through my bag to find the thing that I wanted to give to her.

I pull out a Nintendo Game Boy that I wanted her to have. I found it in Carl's room and I figured that he wouldn't miss it so I thought I could give it to Sophie. Now we can have matching ones!

"Here, I got this for you." I tell her, holding it out in my hand for her to take it from me, and I begin to realise that I actually feel really nervous.

"Wait, what?!" Her eyes widen as she looks at what's in my hand "I can't take that."

I grab her hand, before placing the console into it "Yes, you can! I know you wanted one and I wanted us both to have one so that we can play together." I smile, nervously.

She examines it, carefully, her face showing that she's in awe with it. She finally takes it from me, and for some reason, I can't help but notice that she seems nervous too. And I also notice how her cheeks turn slightly red...

She looks into my eyes, before asking me "Why would you give me this?"

I decide to tell her the truth because I'm so done with lying "I just wanted to see you happy. I knew it would put a smile on your face, that's why." I gulp.

"T- thank you." She thanks me, and I can see how hard she's trying to hold in her smile.

"You don't have to thank me, we're friends now and friends would do anything for each other." I tell her, although I definitely would think of her as more than a friend despite us only just meeting a few weeks ago.

She looks back at her house, seeing that it's getting late, and then she says to me "I should probably go inside now. But, thank you so much for this. It means a lot to me." She smiles at me.

She attempts to turn her back to me as she tries to walk to her front door, but I grab her arm so that I can pull her back.

There's just one more thing that I wanted to do...

"Actually, Sophie, there's one more thing that I wanted to give to you tonight..." I tell her, my hands shaking uncontrollably as I know what I'm going to do.

Before she can ask me what it is, I rest my hand on her cheek, moving in quickly as I press my lips against hers... Unexpectedly though, she doesn't push me away, telling me to fuck off, yet she lets me kiss her and I feel her trying to kiss me back.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds but it felt amazing! Her lips are soft and buttery and I loved the way they felt against my own. But when we pull away, I can tell that she's feeling a mixture of emotions. I know that she wasn't expecting it so she has every right to be confused.

"I- I'm sorry, I don't know why I did th-." I try to apologise because I feel like it's the right thing to do right now.

But, unexpectedly, she says "No, don't be. There's nothing to apologise for."

I can now sense my own cheeks reddening as I process the fact that she doesn't hate me for kissing her.

I watch as a small smirk appears on her face, as she lowers her head to try and hide it from me "I- I kind of liked it.."

"That's good! I- I liked it too!" I smile brightly, trying to hold back my tears because I definitely can't cry right now.

I want to make sure that she doesn't feel pressured to make any decisions right now, so I say to her "Look, you don't have to say anything. You can have as much time as you want to process this. I know that it's probably come as a shock to you, and trust me I didn't think I was gonna do this today, but I want you to know that I like you..."

"I like you a lot..." I admit.

I know that she likes hearing me say that to her "Thank you." She says.

I look up at the sky, and I see how dark it's getting. Unfortunately, I have to walk all the way to my house alone and I don't want to have some weird guy bothering me or some gang of losers beating me up, so I know that I should probably get going.

So, I have to ruin our moment "Look, I'm gonna let you think about this tonight. As much as I want to stay, I don't want to die tonight so I'm probably gonna head home." I tell her.

She nods, understandingly "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

I walk back slowly, not taking my eyes off of her, as I say to her "Goodnight, Soph."

She waves slightly "Goodnight." And I watch as her cheeks never lose their redness.