The Girl With The Tattoo

19. embarrassed

Sophie

"I can't believe that we still have to wait another week!" Lexi complains from the other end of the phone.

I reply "I know. But mum says that the more you think about it the slower time goes. Maybe we should just put it out of our minds for now?" I suggest, hoping that mum was right because I'm so excited for next week that I can barely keep composed.

Lexi groans "How can I possibly stop thinking about it? You don't understand how I feel!"

"Oh, I do." I admit, trying to tell her that I also have these crazy feelings for her.

I've never been a sexual person. Actually, sex has always been the last thing on my mind but something has changed recently. I just can't stop thinking about Lexi and what she could do to me...

Jesus, I don't know what's happening to me!

"You do?" Lexi questions me "You mean, you're horny all the time too?" She jokes, giggling to herself

"Whatever you wanna call it." I also giggle.

And then she decides to ask me something that makes me blush "So you're saying that I make you horny? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"Shhh, you're insane!" I try to quieten her down although no one can hear what she's saying as both of my parents are watching a show on the couch.

"I'm not, you just basically said that I make you horny!" She clearly isn't going to let this go anytime soon "So if that's true then you should probably do something about it.."

"Like what?" I question her, a little confused as to what she means by that.

And I feel as my cheeks redden as she says this to me "You could touch yourself..."

I've never done anything like that before. Some guys at my school joke about it but the girls never mention it. Plus, I always thought that it was something to be ashamed of so I never explored anything like that. Also, my mom never lets me close my door so it's hard to have any alone time.

"What?! There's no way!" I express that it's something that I can't do.

She questions why "What, why?! You don't need anything fancy, just use your fingers."

"I don't know." I express my uncertainty about doing anything like this.

"It's not gross." Lexi tries to convince me "All girls do it."

"Including me." She slips out "Whoopsie!"

"Lexi, you're not funny right now." I pretend to be a little mad at her because it's always funny when she thinks that I'm being serious.

But then she says this to me, trying to convince me further to try this new experience "No, come on. Stop being a little pussy! Plus, I'm right here so you're not alone and you don't have to be so scared."

"I- I don't even know where to start." I admit to her, secretly wanting to do what she's telling me to.

"Well, just do what feels right." She persuades me.

I look over at my door that's been left ajar by my mom. I think about closing it but I realise that it might be a little suspicious if mom was to notice that I closed it. So I realise that I'm going to have to just take a chance without closing the door...

"Okay." I let Lexi know that I'm going to try it.

I hear a slight giggle from the other end of the phone "Go ahead."

Nervously, I take my spare hand, hiding it below my duvet as I play with the hem of my shorts. I hesitate on going any further but I just can't stop thinking about Lexi and the way she makes me feel. So instead of backing out, I push my hand into my underwear, not knowing what to do.

"Are you doing it?" She asks me.

"Shush, you're distracting me." I tell her, trying to get her to stop talking so that I can concentrate.

"Oh, sorry." She giggles "I'll be quiet so you can enjoy yourself."

"Again, not funny!" I tell her.

I push a finger into myself which startles me a little as I didn't expect to be able to do that. I gasp as I realise what I've done, Lexi clearly hearing it from the other end of the phone.

And then I hear her say this "Goodbye, Sophie." as she tries to hold back her laughter.

Now that Lexi isn't able to hear me anymore, I think about stopping all of this and going to study. But I realise that I'm getting older now and I shouldn't have to hold back on figuring things out about myself. So because of that, I decide to continue.

I try to see what feels good, imitating the way Lexi's fingers moved inside of me. And as I begin to feel somewhat of a pleasurable sensation, I close my eyes.

Big mistake.

"Sophie?!" I hear my mom's voice coming from the doorway.

I quickly shoot up out of bed, taking my hand out of my underwear "Mom?!"

Her eyes widen as she realises what I was doing "What are you doing?!"

"Uhm- I- I was just." I try to think of a lie but I can't really hide it.

But instead of questioning me about it and embarrassing me further, she says this instead "Go back to your studies, food will be done in the next hour."

She doesn't say anything else and walks out of the room instead. I know that she's not talking about it but I'm certain that she's aware of what I was doing. But maybe she's just embarrassed that she'd interrupted me?

Suddenly, my phone vibrates and I see Lexi's name appearing on my screen.

(Lexi) How did it go?

(Sophie) It didn't.

(Lexi) Why?

(Sophie) My mom just kind of caught me.

(Lexi) No way! Hahahah!

(Sophie) Not funny, Lexi! I'm embarrassed.

I realise that I should probably start studying because mom is already mad at me right now and if she sees that I still haven't opened my textbooks she'll be furious.

But I just hope that she hasn't told mum about what she'd seen because I'm already embarrassed and mum finding out would kill me!