The Girl With The Tattoo

38. red with envy

Lexi

I walk up to the front desk, desperately needing help with directions "Excuse me, I'm looking for the postnatal ward. My friend's mum has just given birth and I have permission to visit."

"No problem. It's just down the hallway and to your left." She explains to me without asking any questions.

I look down the hallway and I still don't understand where I need to go "The first left?"

"Yeah, the first left." She confirms

I smile "Thank you."

I begin walking down a long hallway, trying to find the postnatal ward. After turning on my phone this morning, I'd seen so many texts from Sophie that I hadn't answered. Unfortunately, my dad had confiscated my phone after I had a breakdown a few days ago.

He'd finally given me permission to have it back today and I instantly felt terrible when I'd seen that Sophie was clearly worried about me.

As I walk to the end of the hallway, I finally find the room that Sophie had told me to come to.

"Here we are." I say to myself.

I knock on the door, making sure not to make too much noise. And after a few seconds pass by, the door finally opens, Sophie's mom now standing directly in front of me.

She furrows her brows "Can I help you?"

I smile "Sophie told me to come here. I wanted to come and say congratulations"

"Sophie told you what?" She asks, a confused look on her face.

I'd found a text on my phone from Sophie which told me that her mum had given birth and that I could come and visit if I wanted to. And as I'd immediately felt terrible about ignoring her messages, I'd bought a bouquet of flowers from the store to give to her mum to show that I care.

"Sophie told me that your wife had given birth." I tell her why I'm here "I just wanted to come and say congratulations."

I hold out the bouquet of flowers that I have with me "I wanted to come and give her these. I heard that she likes flowers so I got her these beautiful tulips."

She looks at me with no emotion "She doesn't need any more flowers."

"You can never have too many flowers!" I joke.

She shakes her head "No, she doesn't need anymore."

"Well, it's the thought that counts." I try to be as positive as I can whilst she's shutting me down "I'll just give them to her anyway, I'm sure she'll like them."

But she stops me from entering the room "No. She's really tired right now, it's not a good time."

"I won't be long." I try to convince her "I'll just hand them over to her."

And because I'm being persistent, she pulls the door in so that I can't see into the room behind her "You can't, she's sleeping."

"Well, I could just hand them over to you to give to her." I suggest, trying to hand over the flowers because I really want to show Sophie's mum that I care.

But she shut me down once again, now closing the door fully "I said it's not a good time."

I can tell that she doesn't want me to be here. Truthfully, as well as being kind to Sophie's mum, I also wanted to come and see Sophie to explain to her why I haven't been replying to her texts. But it looks like I'm not going to see Sophie today after all.

"Oh, okay." I lower my head, finally giving in "I guess I'll just give her something another time."

She nods "Yeah, It's probably for the best if you go. Like I said, she's really tired right now and she doesn't want any visitors."

Trying to be understanding, I decide that I should leave so that I can give them some space.

I step back "Yeah, I'll go. I'm sorry that I bothered you."

"Uh-huh." She says.

She raises her eyebrows, not even bothering to say goodbye to me. I watch as the door closes and she disappears into the room behind her. I don't hear any voices so maybe Sophie's mum is actually sleeping? I now feel terrible for coming here at such a bad time.

I begin walking away but stopping to unlock my phone so that I can send an apology to Sophie.

Lexi: Hi, I just came to see you at the hospital. Your mom answered the door and she said that I'd showed up at a bad time. I was going to give your mum some flowers to say congratulations but I also came to say that I'm sorry for not replying to your texts over the weekend. I promise that I'll make it up to you!

And as soon as I'd pressed send, I heard voices coming from their hospital room. Looking up, I see Sophie's mom stood outside the door but this time she's talking to someone else...

There's a young girl standing in front of her and I instantly recognise her as Sophie's friend, Hailey. But expecting her to be turned away like I was, I'm instantly surprised when Sophie's mom hugs her.

Now hiding behind a wall so that I'm not noticed, I listen to their conversation.

"I've got her some things to help her relax when she gets home." Hailey tells Sophie's mom "I've got her some candles and bath bomb. There's some other stuff in there too."

Sophie's mom smiles "That's so thoughtful of you, Hail. I'm sure she'll love them."

And then my heart breaks when I hear her say "Would you like to come in and give her them yourself? Sophie wants to see you too."

"Yeah, I'd love to!" Hailey smiles, gratefully.

"Good, come on in."

I watch as Hailey is allowed access into the room and I begin to breathe heavily as I feel just how jealous I am. I see how happy Sophie's mom is to see Hailey and I wonder why she treated me so differently.

I decide that I need to get out of here so that I can cool down. So I walk directly out of the hospital, standing outside the front entrance as I desperately try to calm myself down. And because I'm so angry now, I notice a trash can to my left and I decide to throw the flowers into there.

I just don't understand why no one will ever give me a chance.