The Girl With The Tattoo

12. secrets

Lexi

Sophie and I are sat on her bed and there's mostly small talk, nothing important. But I kind of want to check in on her to make sure that she still feels comfortable with what we did earlier.

"My mom should be getting home in like an hour." She mutters to herself, but I'm not really listening.

I decide to bite the bullet "Look, Sophie, I just want to make sure that you don't regret what we did. I know that you said that you were fine with it but I keep telling myself that I pushed you to do it."

She furrows her brows, before saying "No, you didn't. I told you, I'm okay with it. You didn't push me into anything."

Immediately, a smile appears on my face as she says that to me "Phew! I got myself worried for a second there!"

But instead of dwelling on it, Sophie changes the topic of conversation back onto her parents "So, they should be home soon. What time are you thinking about leaving?"

"Oh... you want me to go?" I ask her, a little sad that I have to leave.

She shakes her head "Oh, no I don't. It's just that mom might get mad at me if you're still over so late. But it would've been fun if we could've had a sleepover..."

I would've loved to stay here with Sophie all night but her parents probably don't want a kid like me hanging around the house. They'd take one look at me and they'd be able to tell that I'm a dropout.

"I know. But maybe another time then?" I suggest to her.

But, all of a sudden, I notice a slight smirk appearing on her face "Actually, I have an idea! Why don't you just stay in my room and they won't even notice that you're here. They'll probably just go straight to bed and we can just make sure that we're quiet."

"They won't even suspect a thing!" Sophie seems to have a good idea planned.

I'm all for sneaking around and being secretive because it's practically my speciality, but I don't know if I should mess with Sophie's parents. I mean, I like Sophie a lot and I don't want to make a bad first impression.

"I don't know ab-." I try to say, but she cuts me off.

"No, it'll be fine! She convinces me with a smile on her face "I promise."

"Oh, okay then! You've convinced me!" I give in.

I throw myself back onto her bed, leaning my back against the wall as Sophie follows me. We sit beside each other, revelling in the fact that we're hiding this from her parents.

And then there's silence again, until she finally says "C-can I ask you something?"

I turn my head to look at her "Yeah, of course you can."

She seems nervous, but she finally asks me her question "So, what we did back there, is that the sort of thing that you're into? Do you like being the one to take the lead?"

Whenever she brings these sorts of things up, I can't help but blush. I can tell that it makes her all nervous to talk about things that are more mature, and I can also tell that she's never spoke about this stuff before.

"Not really." I tell the truth "Of course I like to focus all my attention on the girl but I enjoy it when they're more focused on me."

She nods.

I continue "To be honest, I kind of like girls to hold me, to make me feel safe. I like all kinds of sex but that's my favourite..." I admit to her, something that I've not admitted to anyone else before because I was afraid of them not understanding.

I notice a smile on her face as I admit that to her, and she looks at the ground and I can tell that she's thinking of something.

And then she says this "I don't think I'd be good at it..."

"No, you'd be great! What are you talking about?" I rest my hand on her leg "Yeah, your first time would probably not be your best but you'd get used to it. It just takes practise, that's all." I tell her.

She looks into my eyes deeply as I explain that to her.

My first time was a little rough if I'm honest. It was with Isabella actually. She took me to her bedroom, we drank a lot, and it kind of just happened. I wasn't ready for it and I had no idea what to do. She didn't help me either so I felt like such a failure.

I don't want Sophie to feel like that when the time comes. I care about her and I want her to be able to take as much time as she needs.

"I kind of wish I'd waited to have sex." I admit to her "I just rushed into it because all the girls I knew had done it and I didn't want to be the freak of the group."

I rest my hand on hers, grabbing onto it gently as I say "It's much better with someone that's special."

She blushes.

And then I mention something that happened earlier "You didn't come, did you? Before, when I asked you."

I can tell that she's embarrassed, and she looks a little sad as I bring that up "N- no, I didn't. I don't really know what that feels like."

Instead of embarrassing her anymore, because that's certainly not what I want to do right now, I hold my arms out so that I can bring her close to me.

But before we can continue talking about sex and whatever else comes up, the both of us hear a noise coming from downstairs and it can only mean one thing... And knowing that her parents are back, both Sophie and I climb into her bed, throwing the covers over us to disguise the fact that I'm here.

"Shhhhh, don't make a sound." Sophie whispers.

I nod "Okay, okay. I won't."

It's pretty hot under her duvet and it's making me feel a little sleepy. And as time goes on, my eyes start closing whilst I desperately try to keep them open. But because I'm so tired, I feel myself slowly falling asleep...