The Girl With The Tattoo

43. coming out

Sophie

I see both of my parents as soon as I enter the room. I rub the palms of my hands together to try to calm my nerves as I think about what I'm going to tell them. Because today is the day that I tell them about Lexi and I... I'm so scared but I know that I can't hide it from them forever.

So I walk directly into the room, announcing my presence "Hey..."

They both look over at me, mum speaking first "Hey, Soph. What's up?"

I smile, trying to act cool "Nothing. I just came to see the both of you."

"That's nice of you, sweetie." Mum smiles at me.

But before I can talk myself out of it, I decide to get straight to the point "Actually, there's something that I want to talk to the both of you about."

Mom furrows her brows, clearly concerned as I say this to them.

But mum says "What is it, Soph?"

I decide to walk closer to them, standing in front of them as I desperately try to find the courage within me to tell them about a part of my life that I've been keeping from them.

"Soph, has something happened?" I hear mum ask me.

"No, nothing happened!" I tell them "There's just something that I've been meaning to tell you."

"Okay..." Mum can see that I'm panicking "Just- just take your time."

I nod, thanking her "Thanks. It's just that there's something that I want the both of you to know."

And then I decide to bite the bullet and to say "It's about me... and someone."

Lexi told me to get straight to the point. I have a tendency to talk myself out of most things and I know that if I don't get it over with then I'll stop myself from telling them. And because I want the whole world to know about Lexi and I, I know that I have to do this.

So I finally say to them "I have a girlfriend..."

There's a silence for a few seconds and I examine the looks on their faces. They both look shocked but then I watch as a smile appears on mum's face.

"You do?!" She asks me, smiling brightly.

I nod "Y- yeah..."

"Sophie, that's great!" Mum seems happy for me "Gosh, you scared me there for a second!"

"You're not mad at me?"

"Of course I'm not, Soph. Why would I be mad at you? You know that you can like whoever you want and we would never judge. We just want you to be happy." She tells me.

I'm so grateful for that so I say "Thank you, mum."

And then I look over at mom and I realise that she hadn't said anything yet. She doesn't have a smile on her face like mum does and I can tell that she's still trying to process all of this.

So I ask her "And mom, what do you think of this?"

She finally looks up at me, almost like she was deep in thought "Uhm... yeah. We just want you to be happy."

I can't help but notice the hesitation coming from her but I decide to ignore it "Thanks, I'm so glad! I was scared that you were both going to hate me!"

"Hate you?!" Mum's eyes widen "Why would we hate you for something like this?! Soph, we would never hate you no matter what! Like I said, your mom and I just want you to be happy and if a girl is making you happy then we're fine with that."

And as I'm processing that everything is going to be okay, I hear mum ask me this "But who is this girl? Do we know her?"

I smile as she says this to me. Of course they know her! They've both met Lexi and they both seemed to like her. I mean, I know that she's not the type of girl that they'd want me to be with but I hope they can see how happy she makes me.

"Actually, you do." I admit to them "It's Lexi..."

"Lexi?!" Mum seems excited "You mean, Lexi your friend from dance? That Lexi?!"

I nod whilst keeping a smile on my face "Yes, that Lexi!"

"Is she good to you?" Mum asks me.

I giggle as she asks me this "Yeah, she's really good to me. Honestly, she's the reason why I've been so happy lately. She's really helped me."

"Then I'm happy for the both of you." Mum tells me, giving me permission to be with Lexi.

I decide to look over at mom to see what she thinks about this. I can't help but notice that she doesn't look too happy. She isn't smiling and she's busy staring at the wall behind me. I know that this is a lot for her to process but I'm just scared that she doesn't approve of mine and Lexi's relationship.

"Mom, say something." I try to get her to speak to me.

She then looks up again.

"Are you okay with this?" I ask her, hoping for the best.

She hesitates, before saying "Y- yeah. Of course I am."

"Ah, I'm so happy! I was honestly so scared to tell the both of you about this. For some reason, I thought that you were going to hate me for the rest of my life!" I admit to them.

"Soph, you don't have to panic. Me and your mom will always be supportive and we want you to know that." Mum carries on telling me about this "We want you to be able to talk to us about anything. Don't we, Em."

Mom, yet again, hesitates "Y- yeah."

"Thank you."

And as I try to make my way back to my bedroom so that I can tell Lexi the good news, I'm stopped as they usher me back into the room.

"Actually, Soph, before you go we would like to talk to you about something..." Mum tells me, which only makes me panic as I wonder what it could possibly be.

"What is it?" I ask her, fidgeting with my hands as I begin to feel so nervous.

Mum looks at my mom before saying "We think that since you're getting older that you should be allowed a lot more privacy. So, we were thinking of adding a lock to your room so that you can have as much privacy as you want when you're in there."

"Oh..." I process that, trying to think of a reason as to why they would be adding a lock to my room "Yeah, that sounds great."

"Good!" Mum doesn't say anything more about it "Well, that's all."

"Okay." I smile, happy that she didn't bring attention to the fact that mom caught me masturbating a few weeks ago.

I have my suspicions that that is the the reason why the lock is going to be added to my door. I know that mom was probably embarrassed just like I was. Now I can have as much privacy as I want which seems to be a step in the right direction.

But before I can begin to speak again, I'm interrupted by the sound of my sister crying.

Mum groans "I swear that's all she does! That girl never sleeps more than twenty minutes!"

I giggle as mum gets up off of the coach to go and tend to my sister. Since she decided to breastfeed her, she's practically attached to her and almost never gets a moment where she's not at her side. Seeing how much work it is to care for a baby, I think I might wait a long time to have one of my own!

"I'm gonna go and finish my homework." I tell the both of them.

"Okay, sweetheart." Mum smiles at me whilst resting a hand on my shoulder as she walks past me.