The Girl With The Tattoo

46. celebration

Lexi

"Girls, what are you having?" Michelle asks Sophie and I, talking about what we'd like to order off of the menu.

Sophie invited me to dinner with her family. She graduated a few days ago so this is to celebrate that. I'm thankful that they invited me and it's nice to spend some time getting to know both Sophie's parents.

I look over the menu before replying with "I'll have pasta, please."

Sophie then says "Yeah, me too."

Although I do feel uncomfortable eating in front of others, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't show that tonight. I get anxious when it comes to food as I worry that I'll be judged for how much or how little I eat.

After a while, our food arrives and I distract myself by engaging in conversation.

"So Lexi, you didn't tell us about your family." Michelle speaks to me "What do they do?"

I think about telling them the truth but I know that I shouldn't if I want them to like me "Well, my dad works for a construction company."

"That's cool! He must be a hard worker." Michelle says.

I continue on with my lies "And my mom works in an office."

"An office is cool." She smiles at me "My wife has her own office too."

I feel Sophie's eyes glaring at me as I lie to her mum. She's probably wondering why I'm lying to them but she doesn't understand how ashamed I feel of my family. I can't have them knowing the truth about my life.

"You must be proud of them." Michelle then says to me "And I'm sure they're just as proud of you."

I'm sure they're not.

"Thank you." I muster up a false smile.

And then I'm distracted when I hear the sound of Emily's drunken voice "Jesus, you ask so many questions, Michelle!"

Michelle rolls her eyes "I'm just trying to be nice."

"Yeah, and you're giving me a headache!" Emily tells her, her tone of voice showing that she's joking around.

I've never really seen Emily let loose like this before. I'm sure that alcohol is taking the edge off of tonight for her. I can tell that she struggles with the concept of having fun but I'm sure I could help her with that sometime.

"Anyway, we just wanted to show you how proud we are of you, Soph." Michelle tells Sophie.

"I know you are, mum. You don't have to do anything to show me." Sophie says.

"But we really do!" You've worked so hard all year for this and we couldn't have wished for a better daughter." Michelle seems emotional.

And then their moment is ruined by the sound of Sophie's sister beginning to cry from in her stroller.

"Hey, it's okay!" Michelle tries to calm her down, pulling her out of there to comfort her "Mummy's got you, Harp."

And then Michelle says to Emily "I think she's hungry, Em."

I then divert my eyes away from her as I realise that she's breastfeeding the baby. I'm obviously not immature so I don't mind her doing that at all. I actually think that it's pretty sweet and I'd love to have to that connection with a child one day.

I just know that I'll never have a baby of my own. I wouldn't want it to grow up ashamed of me.

Time passes and after we've all finished eating, I hear Michelle say "Actually, there's one thing that we didn't tell you about, Soph."