The Girl With The Tattoo

42. power

Lexi

The sky darkens as I finally arrive home. I'd chosen to walk here from Sophie's house as I was too embarrassed for them to see where I live. It had taken me a while to get here and now it's almost nighttime.

I shiver as I turn the keys, opening up the door so that I can get inside. I then kick off my shoes immediately, not daring to ruin the floor with the mud that's collected on them. But before I can begin to make my way towards my bedroom, I feel a presence behind me.

"Where have you been?" I hear my dad's voice.

I turn around quickly "I was out."

"Out where?"

I decide to tell him the truth because he hates when I lie to him "I stayed at a friend's house. It was a girl from dance. We're really good friends and she asked me to stay over so that we could rehearse a little more."

There's a silence after I say that and I can tell that he's trying to figure out whether I'm lying or not. Of course I'm not going to tell him that Sophie is my girlfriend and that we were definitely not rehearsing last night. If he was to find out about that then he would probably kill me.

"You were rehearing a dance?" He asks me, edging closer to me.

I nod "Yeah."

"Don't lie to me." He warns me, not raising his voice yet "I hate when you lie to me.

"I'm not lying, I'm telling the truth." I try my best to convince him "I promise. I wouldn't lie to you."

And then he asks me this "But did I give you my permission to stay over at someone else's house?"

I shake my head "No. I tried to call you but my phone wasn't working."

"I don't want to hear that crap, Lexi!" He finally raises his voice at me, causing me to jump in shock "I did not give you permission! What gives you the right to think that you can disobey your own father?!"

"I'm sorry, okay?!" I raise my voice too, trying my best not to cry yet that's all that I want to do right now "I didn't mean to! I just wanted to spend some time with my friend!"

But even though I'm trying my best to hold back my tears, I suddenly fail to do so and they begin to pour down my cheeks. But I hate crying in front of him as I know that he's loving every minute of this right now. I know that it makes him feel powerful.

"You don't dare do this again, do you hear me?!" He asks me.

I nod quickly "I won't, I promise."

"And if you want to leave this house for anything other than dance then you ask me first!" He demands "You do not get out of here without my permission!"

"Do you understand?!" He demands an answer from me.

"I do." I mutter.

"I can't hear you, Alexa." He makes me repeat myself.

"I do, dad." I talk a little louder so that he can feel great about himself.

He then walks much closer to me, backing me up against the wall and I feel like I'm suffocating. He rests his hand on my cheek before playing with the curls that had fallen out of my ponytail. I don't dare to move as I don't want to trigger him to hurt me.

"That's a good girl, Alexa." He says to me as his hand touches my face.

I can finally breathe once again as he removes his hand from my face, turning away from me to leave me alone. But because I'm so worried about my brother right now, I decide to ask him about him. Maybe he's heard from him somehow?

"Dad." I get his attention "Can I ask you something?"

He turns around to look at me once again, his face displaying a confused expression "You can."

I inhale deeply before asking him this "H- have you heard from Carl? It's just that he's not replying to my texts and I haven't seen him since he left. I was just wondering if you-."

But before I can continue, he interrupts me "Why are you asking me about him?"

"Because I care about him." I gulp, not knowing whether that will push him over the edge.

But I watch as my dad makes his way over to me quickly and his mood instantly changes... He backs me up against the wall once again but this time I can tell that he's extremely angry at me.

"Don't fucking mention his name?!" He screams at me, causing me to panic "He is gone! He is not coming back!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I shout, tears uncontrollably pouring down my cheeks as I apologise to him.

"Do not say his name ever again in this house!" He demands.

"But he's my brother and I love him!" I try to explain to him.

And because I expressed my love for Carl to him, he reacts badly. I feel his fist make contact with my cheek, causing me to fall onto the floor beside him. I feel the pain of the impact immediately and I hold up my hand to where it hurts. And I cry as I realise that he'd hit me.

I hear his voice above me as I try to recover from what has just happened to me "You deserved that! You're an ungrateful bitch, Alexa!"

I try to apologise to him "I'm sorry-."

But, yet again, he interrupts me "Just go to your room. I don't want to look at you any longer."

Once dad had left me, I made my way to my room. My cheek still burns and I can still feel the way that his fist pounded into it. I immediately sit on my bed as I enter my room, pulling out my phone to see if Carl had gotten back to me. It makes me cry harder when I see that he hasn't responded.

I feel like it's all my fault that he'd decided to leave. I always tried to help him but I never once stood up for him. I just locked myself away in my room while my dad would offload his anger onto him.

I'm just as bad as my father.