The Girl With The Tattoo

29. girlfriend

Sophie

"I'm actually so full!" I complain, talking about the large meal I'd just eaten with Lexi.

"Yeah, me too." Lexi is clearly feeling the same way as I am.

We'd decided to eat at an Italian restaurant in a busy part of the city. Thankfully, the food was amazing and it was also nice to spend some quality time with Lexi while we're here on this trip. I also felt quite mature ordering my own food without my parents being with me.

"It's so nice out here tonight." Lexi says, looking up at the sky.

It's just turned eight and the sun is starting to set. There's a beautiful glow coming from the sky, the air warm and cosy. Things aren't usually like this in Toronto so we're just taking it all in while it lasts.

"I know. I wish it was like this all the time." I say to her, now joining her in looking at the sun.

"Would you wanna live somewhere else?" Lexi asks me.

"I don't know. I mean, my family is here and it's where I grew up." I tell her.

"Yeah but think about living somewhere warm that has like really cool beaches and shit." Lexi says to me, clearly fantasising about living someplace else.

"I know but I wouldn't want to be away from family." I admit to her.

My family is everything to me. We've always been so close and my mum is practically my best friend. We're quite close in age as I was born when she was seventeen. Apparently, mom wanted to get pregnant earlier on in case she had fertility problems later on down the line.

My sister hasn't even been born yet and she already means so much to me. I worry a lot about her too after mum had a miscarriage back when I was a kid. I just can't wait until she's born so that I can finally breathe again.

"You don't want to have a family of your own?" Lexi asks me.

"Like a baby?" I ask her, wanting to know what she means by having a family of my own.

"Yeah." Lexi confirms what she means "I think you'd be a good mom."

"I don't think I would be." I tell her "I bet it's really stressful and I think I'd be really scared."

"Nah, you'd be a good mom." Lexi tries to convince me "I'd probably end up dropping a baby on its head. Hah, that's probably why I'm the way I am!"

I decide to change the topic of the conversation because I honestly find it stressful thinking about the future. I am only sixteen and I want to focus on college and dance before I think about anything Lexi is talking to me about.

"Anyway, how are you getting on in class?" I ask her "You seemed to be picking up the dance pretty well today I noticed."

Lexi smiles, and I can tell that she's happy that I noticed that she's doing well "Yeah, I'm getting there. Like I actually think I'm improving! When I really concentrated today, it actually wasn't as hard as I thought it was."

"See! Didn't I tell you that you'd do well?" I remind her.

She smiles to herself "Yeah, you did."

Lexi and I carry on walking down the busy city streets, her hand holding on tightly to mine almost like she's wanting to protect me. And as we continue down a more quieter area, I can tell that there's something on her mind...

"What are you thinking about?" I ask her, really curious to know.

She blushes, looking a little embarrassed "I don't know if I want to tell you."

"No, you have to tell me now!" I try to push her into telling me "You can't act all weird like that and then not tell me what's going on."

Finally, she admits to me what she was thinking about "I was just thinking about how far we've come. I mean, it's only been a few months but I feel like I've known you forever."

She continues "At first I did question whether we'd get along but now we're like so close! And I have these crazy fucking feelings for you and I think I'm going soft!"

I giggle "Who knew I could do that to you?"

Lexi turns her head to look at me "I guess what I'm saying is-." but she stops herself before carrying on.

"Saying what?" I ask her, desperately wanting to know what she was going to say to me.

"Oh, fuck it!" Lexi shakes her head, a nervous smile appearing on her face "Do you maybe want to be my girlfriend?"

And then she begins to ramble "I mean, a lot of people keep referring to you as my girlfriend, and I swear I've called you that like a million times, so I just thought that it would make s-."

I stop her before she can continue to rant "Yes! Obviously, I want to be your girlfriend, dumbass!"

She seems shocked "Really?"

"No, I want to be just friends for the rest of my life." I say, sarcastically "Of course I'm being serious! I definitely definitely want to be your girlfriend!"

"Ah, this is great!" Lexi smiles, enthusiastically, squeezing onto my hand "Now I can finally call you my girlfriend without it being weird."

I feel great that Lexi and I have made it official. I did worry that she was never going to ask me and I did question whether I should do it myself. I feel such a relief now that that I know that she's mine. But there is one thing still standing in our way...

I still haven't told my parents about her. Even though they're gay themselves, I still worry whether they'll accept me or not. Mom probably wants me to marry some rich guy and to have his babies.

And almost like she can read my mind, she asks me "When are you gonna tell your parents about us?"

"Uhm, when I get back." I hesitate "Mom might be more relaxed so I think I'll do it then."

"Good." Lexi nods "And if you want me to be there when you do it I will."

"No, I think it'll be better if I'm alone when I tell them." I admit to her.

"Okay, whatever you think's best." She doesn't try to convince me to let her be there too.

We continue walking down the streets, the sun now disappearing behind the clouds, a cool breeze now washing over our bodies. And after another ten or so minutes of walking, our accommodation is finally in sight. I feel relieved as I honestly don't think I could walk any longer.

"Finally, we're back!" Lexi announces, now resting her head on my shoulder "I need a nap after all that food."

"You always need a nap!" I giggle.

"What?! I'm a busy girl!" Lexi jokes.