The Girl With The Tattoo

40. awkwardness

Lexi

Both Sophie's mom and I sit in silence as Sophie rushes into FreshCo's to buy some diapers. Her mum had called and complained that they're running low on them so now Sophie is going in there to buy some. I have to admit that it's quite awkward here in the car right now.

I clear my throat, looking around aimlessly as I think of something to say to break the silence.

And then I finally decide to speak "So, what's your name?"

She doesn't reply to me, clearly being stubborn. I can tell that she's hard to crack yet I know that there's probably so much more to her deep down. And because I'm such a curious person, I find myself wanting to know more about her.

"I asked you what your name is." I tell her, not letting it go.

She seems uncomfortable, fidgeting with her hands as I lean forward to talk to her.

But to my surprise, she replies to me "Emily."

"Emily?" I smile "My cousin's name is Emily!"

She raises her eyebrows "Cool."

"It's not really." I tell her "But it's a pretty name though."

She doesn't look at me. I can tell that she doesn't want to for some reason. Maybe I make her feel uncomfortable? I mean, I know that I'm a pretty fucked up person but I didn't know that I could make someone feel this uncomfortable when being around me.

But as I want to get to know more about her, I unbuckle my seatbelt, climbing into the front of the car which I can tell is confusing her.

"What?!" I ask as I throw myself into the front seat of the car "You don't like that I actually have a voice and that I'm not afraid to use it? I'm not one of those girls that just sit in silence. I like to get to know the people around me."

She furrows her brows "What are you doing in the front of my car?"

I smile "I'm getting to know you! Sophie's important to me so it's my job to get to know the people that she's closest to."

"I don't talk to children." She tells me, referring to the fact that I'm much younger than her.

"I'm seventeen! I'm not a child!" I inform her.

And then I find this the perfect opportunity to ask her this "How old are you?"

She shakes her head, not replying to me again.

But I decide to push for an answer "Come on! Don't be embarrassed! What, are you like fifty or something?! You must've had a bunch of botox if you are!"

"I'm thirty-five, not fifty!" She shakes her head at me, revealing her age to me.

"Seriously?! You're so young! Why did you have a kid at such a young age?" I ask her, wanting to know more about it.

She seems uncomfortable with that question. She shuffles around in her seat, immediately starting to fidget with her hands. I'm not stupid, I've seen how a question can make someone feel so many things. I know that her past is something that makes her feel uncomfortable.

"It's none of your business." She says to me, coldly.

"I was just curious." I explain to her "My mom gave birth to me young too. But then she ended up loving drugs more than me and I haven't seen her in years."

For the first time, Emily looks at me and I can tell that she's listening to my story. She also doesn't seem to be annoyed at me anymore which is nice to see.

"Michelle used to be like that with her drinking." She admits to me and I seem to be getting through to her "She was a nightmare! I know that she'll always go back to drinking, she always does. It only takes one bad day for her to go back to it."

"Sophie told me that she was alcoholic." I admit to her, not knowing if Sophie will care that I'm telling her that.

"Oh, she did? I'm sure she has a lot of stories to tell you." She says.

I shake my head "No, she didn't say much. But I understand how hard it must be to live with someone who has a problem like that. I know that it affected my family a lot. It's always stayed with me."

"Yeah, I know that it's impacted Sophie a lot." She admits to me.

"I'm sure it has." I tell her, knowing the impact addiction has on the people around it "But none of it was your fault."

She turns her head to look at me, spending a lot of time staring into my eyes "You really think that?"

I nod "Y-yeah."

Suddenly, Emily notices Sophie approaching "Get back to your seat."

I throw myself into the back of the car again as Sophie opens the door. She sits herself down into her seat, now holding a giant box of newborn diapers which she throws into the front. I watch as she buckles up her seatbelt before giving me a quick smile.

"I hope these are the ones that she wanted." Sophie says to Emily, passing over the diapers.

Emily inspects them, before saying "Yeah, they look like the ones."

Sophie then looks at me, before saying "So, what were you both talking about whilst I was gone?"

Emily is quick to reply with "Nothing. We weren't talking."

I nod "Nothing."

Emily then begins to drive the both of us home. I feel slightly nervous that they're going to see my house. I know that it's nothing compared to theirs and I'm slightly embarrassed for them to see it. I also don't want my dad to notice that I was driven home.

He's probably going to ask a lot of questions and I don't want to tell him that I have a girlfriend.

And because I don't want them to see my house, I decide to try to avoid it "Hey, Soph, what do you think about a sleepover?"

She smiles "Yeah! But don't you want to go home?"

I shake my head "No, I'd rather stay with you."

Sophie clearly feels the same way as me as she says this to Emily "Actually, mom, could Lexi crash at our place tonight? It is the weekend after all!"

I wink at her.