The Girl With The Tattoo

58. moving on

Sophie

I skip down the stairs as I hear the voices of my parents. Thankfully, today changed my view on college as I feel like I could have a bond with Addison. We seem to be getting along and she's surprisingly really trusting with me.

I walk into the kitchen where I notice mum making food.

She instantly notices me "Hey, Soph. How was your day?"

"It was good!" I tell her, seeming really thrilled.

"That's good to hear! Did you manage to get some work done?"

I nod "Yeah, I did."

And then mum says this to me "And how are things going with making friends? Are you still struggling with it? I know things like that can take a little while."

"No, I actually made a friend." I reveal to her, and I watch as her eyes widen as I say that to her.

I did tell her about about my worries and she knows that I find it hard to make new friends. But even though things weren't seeming too good the other day, I can finally relax as I seem to have successfully made at least one friend.

"That's good to hear, sweetheart." She smiles at me "Do you know her name?"

"Addison." I tell her "She's a year older than me but we seem to be getting along. Mum, her room is so cool! It's so bright and pretty and she even has a giant lava lamp beside her bed!"

"You're still wanting one of those?" Mum giggles, knowing that I begged for one last Christmas.

"Maybe..." I laugh.

I continue "Anyway, she showed me around the school and she even helped me find some of my classes.

"That's really good, Soph! See, I told you that you'd make friends! It just takes time." She reminds me.

"Yeah, I guess you were right." I admit.

And then mum changes the topic of our conversation onto someone that I'm not really wanting to talk about right now.

"So... what about Lexi? Do you think that you can finally move on from her now?"

I think about Lexi and what she's done to me. If someone was to even mention her name a few months ago then I would've broken down into tears as I thought about all of the memories that I have with her. But now when I hear her name I just feel angry. But I know that I need to move on as I don't want to give her the satisfaction of having a hold on me.

"Actually, I think I am!" I reveal to her, immediately seeing how surprised she is by that.

"Wow... really?" She furrows her brows.

"Yeah. Like you said, I need to move on. I can't put my life on hold because of her."

"You know what, that's the best news I've heard all week." She smiles "But, why the change of heart?"

"Meeting new friends." I reveal "It really made me realise that there's so many people out there that can make me happy."

"That's right! You never know who you could meet in the future, Soph. You're a pretty girl, there'll be tons of people who would be over the moon to get to know you!" She says, making me feel better about myself.

She continues "Plus, you're intelligent! You don't need someone holding you back like she did! I'm sure there's plenty of people that will understand you and will be up to your level."

When Lexi and I were together, I didn't care that she didn't share the same beliefs as I did. I didn't care that school wasn't important to her and I didn't care that she didn't have a goal in life. Truthfully, none of that mattered to me at all. I just fell in love with the person that she was.

But now I hate the person that she became...

All of a sudden, I hear a squeal as mom enters the room.

"Fucking spider!" Mom panics "Crawled up my arm!"

"Jesus, Emily! You scared the crap out of us!" Mum sighs.

"What?! It was terrifying! Good job I stamped the shit out of it though."

I begin to laugh to myself as I watch how irritated mom looks by a spider.

Mom walks over to where we're standing, taking a quick look at the food that mum is cooking for us.

"You're making food?" She asks her "What are we having?"

But before mum can reply, Harper shouts over at my mom to grab her attention "Momma! Momma!"

Mom smiles at Harper before making her way over to her "Hey, gorgeous! Are you waiting for your food? Is your mummy taking forever to make it?"

"Cup." Harper says, holding up her sippy cup to ask for more squash.

"Don't worry, I'll get you some." Mom says to her, taking the cup from her.

I look at mom as I observe the way she interacts with Harper. Truthfully, I can't even remember whether she made an effort with me when I was a baby. Actually, I don't really have any memories from when I was a child.

I know that we moved around a lot and I was living with my grandparents for some time. I remember there being a lot of shouting and I remember being scared. It was when I was younger that I learned of my mum's issues with alcohol.

And I'm quickly snapped out of my thoughts when I hear my mum talking quietly to me "Hey, I'm really proud of you, you know. I know how hard it's been for you to go through this."

I smile to show that I appreciate her saying that to me "Thank you, mum."

"Of course, sweetheart." She says "And, if you need to talk about anything then you know that you can come to me. I know that your mom isn't the most approachable but I want you to know that I'm here for you no matter what."

I smile at her, talking quietly "Yeah, I know."

And then I hear the sound of my mom's voice as she complains about how long my mum is taking to make our food "Oh, come on, Michelle! We're starving, aren't we Harper?!"

"Alright, I'll go faster." Mum rolls her eyes in a playful manner.

"Actually, I'm just gonna go up to my room and call Hailey while I wait for food." I announce.

"Okay, just don't be long!" Mum says.

I walk out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. I then quickly dash up them so that I can get to my room. Hailey and I have my staying in touch over the last couple of days and she's finally settled into her new home. Although I do feel sad that she's not here, I'm so proud of her for following her dreams.

But if I want to be as successful as her then I know that I need to move on from Lexi.