The Girl With The Tattoo

41. through the smoke

Lexi

It's almost midnight and I can't sleep. Sophie had fallen asleep almost an hour ago yet I've been staring at the wall whilst thinking of all the things that are going wrong in my life. I think about my brother and where he could be. I wonder if he's safe.

I turn on my phone to see if he's replied to my millions of texts. I see that he hasn't and it only makes me worry about him even more.

And because I'm worrying so much, I find myself needing to get some fresh air. So I tiptoe down the staircase, walking into Sophie's living room. And when I turn my head towards the door, I immediately notice Emily standing outside...

Without hesitation, I turn the handle.

She immediately looks at me "What are you doing?"

I close the door behind me "Nothing. I couldn't sleep."

"What, is the baby keeping you awake or something?" She asks me.

I shake my head "No. I just couldn't sleep."

I watch as she brings her cigarette up to her mouth, inhaling the smoke and then exhaling it out once again. I stand in silence, taking my time to look over her, admiring how she smokes so effortlessly. I've been smoking for almost two years now and I still choke every time.

She looks back over at me, furrowing her brows "You didn't know that I smoked?"

I smile "No, I did. I could smell it off of you earlier. You don't hide it very well."

And then I find this the perfect opportunity to ask for something that I want "So you're not gonna offer me one?"

"What?" She asks me, furrowing her brows once again.

"Come on, you can't seriously tell me that you didn't know that I smoked! You pass me every day whilst I'm doing it." I remind her "Like I said, I'm not a kid. And I think that you and I are more alike than you think."

"You think a lot of crazy things, girl." She says to me.

I then hold out my hand "So give me one. Come on, I won't tell your wife that you gave me one of your cigs."

"What?"

"Just pass me one." I demand, staring into her eyes to convince her to do it.

Hesitantly, she reaches into the pocket of her pants and then pulls out a cigarette. She places it onto the palm of my hand whilst holding eye contact with me. I wink at her which I can tell makes her feel uncomfortable.

I then look at the cigarette, furrowing my brows "And how are you expecting me to smoke it, huh?"

She then holds up her lighter and I smile at her.

"Come here." She says to me.

I do as she says, walking over to her. I hold the cigarette between my lips as she begins to light it for me. I don't take my eyes off of her as she does this though and I notice that she doesn't look away either.

Once it's lit, I take a few steps back so that I can have my own space to smoke it.

"Thanks." I thank her "I've not had one of these in days. Maybe that's why I can't fucking sleep?"

"Hey, language!" She warns me, clearly not used to someone my age using such bad words.

"Come on, you don't mind! And I promise that I won't use those words near your daughter." I lie to her.

She then asks me this "And what are your intentions with my daughter anyway? You seem pretty close with her yet I don't know anything about you. So what's going on between the two of you?"

I smile "Nothing, we're just good friends. Like I said, I met her at dance. I thought that she was so talented and it made me want to be friends with her."

I watch as Emily shakes her head, clearly not believing my story "Bullshit! Now what's actually going on?"

I smile, knowing that I'll never tell her our little secret "Nothing. It's none of your business anyway."

"You're sleeping in my house so I'd say it is my business." She says to me, clearly getting irritated as I withhold information from her.

"I'm just a friend." I lower my voice, doing my best to convince her.

I decide to change the topic of the conversation as there was something that I'd been meaning to ask her. I want to tell her how I feel about the way I was treated at the hospital. I'm a strong girl and I know not to let anyone hurt me the way that she did that day. So I'm going to tell her how I feel.

"Why did you do that to me at the hospital? Why did you lie?" I ask her.

"What?!" She shakes her head at me.

"You said that I showed up at a bad time! You made me leave and then I saw some girl walk right into that room!" I raise my voice slightly, feeling heated "What you did was wrong and you know it!"

"So why did you do it?" I ask her "Do you hate me or something?"

There's a silence for a few seconds. Emily looks at at the view in front of her and I can tell that she's thinking of what to say. I hope that she doesn't make up some shitty excuse because I really don't want to listen to it right now.

"No. I don't hate you." She reveals "I'm just scared of you being around Sophie. I can tell that you're trouble. I can tell that you're gonna break her heart some way or another. She's fragile, she breaks easily. She doesn't need someone like you ruining her life."

I walk closer to her again, looking into her eyes with a serious look on my face "I am just a friend."

"We'll see about that." Emily looks over my body with disgust on her face.

I then decide that it's probably best if I go back inside so that I can get back to Sophie. After all, she is the reason that I'm here. So I walk a few steps away from Emily, throwing my cigarette onto the floor and then putting it out with my foot. I then walk back over to the door so that I can go back inside.

"Where are you going?" Emily asks me as she watches as I rest my hand on the door handle.

"Inside." I tell her "Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt your daughter. You don't have to look at me like that."

"I'll talk to you another time." I smile at her as I pull open the door to leave.

I then walk away from her, walking back into the house before closing the door behind me. And after I make my way up the staircase once again, I walk back into Sophie's room. I see her sprawled out on her bed, snoring lightly.

I giggle to myself as I watch her face as she sleeps. She looks so deep in thought and I wonder what she's dreaming about. I then pull back the covers, getting under them as I move myself close to Sophie's body as I try to fall asleep.