The Girl With The Tattoo

23. not good enough

Lexi

Everyone seems so professional here and it's quite obvious that I don't fit in. Sophie, on the other hand, blends in quite nicely as she's not much different to the other girls in the room. Unlike me, she does come from money and her dancing shows that.

I could never afford the right training because my dad couldn't care less about it.

I walk towards the back of the room, searching through my bag to try and find my ballet shoes. And just before I can begin to put them on, I feel a presence beside me.

"Who thought that they'd actually let you in here." I hear Isabella's voice close to me.

And as I turn around, I see that she's standing right beside me, a smirk on her face.

"What?"

"I mean, this is a professional ballet company, I'm surprised they would ever let a girl like you even enter the building!" She continues to make me feel even shittier about myself.

"Whatever, Iz." I try to ignore her "I'm just here to learn."

"Learn?! You can't even remember to point your toes when you're dancing, how the fuck are you supposed to learn anything?!" She laughs.

I don't want her ruining my day before it's even started, so I walk past her a little as I want to get back to Sophie "I'm just gonna go and stretch."

"Sure. You go stretch!" Isabella says.

But instead of leaving me alone, she stops me before I can walk away, lowering her voice so that she can say this to me "Oh, and I'm surprised that you didn't stuff your bra today, Lex."

"It's hilarious!" Isabella stares at my chest that's exposed because of my leotard.

I fold my arms so that I can cover my body as I now finally walk away from her. Unexpectedly, she doesn't follow me this time and I feel a sense of relief when I know that she's done with humiliating me for today.

I see Sophie standing near a ballet barre so I walk over to her.

"Hey, you got everything you need?" Sophie asks me.

I nod "Yeah, I found my shoes."

"That's good." She smiles at me "Now go and stretch, we'll be starting soon."

But before I can even begin to stretch, I hear a voice entering the room and I can't help but notice that everyone stops talking. I watch as Sophie's eyes widen as a man stands near the centre. I don't know who he is but everyone seems to be in awe of him.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen." He starts with, walking towards the front of the room "You are all here today to compete for a scholarship at our ballet company."

He continues "You have been chosen as you're the best of the best. I shall hope that you will all take this opportunity seriously as this could be your chance to become a professional ballerina."

"Now if you're all ready you can take your positions at the barre." He tells us, and I move over to the free spot that Sophie had saved for the both of us.

I lean into her slightly, whispering "What's the deal with this guy?"

Sophie replies with "You don't know him? He's like the only way to become a professional ballerina."

"Oh." I say, not wanting to talk about it anymore because I have absolutely no interest in becoming that.

Time goes on and I find myself trying to learn the dance that's being taught. I obviously find it hard because I've always struggled to memorise choreography. And due to my short attention span, I can't help but get distracted by anything and everything.

And because we're now on a short break, Sophie approaches me and I can tell that she's a little annoyed.

"What's going on? You're not concentrating!" She says "How can you possibly have a chance at this if you don't even try?!"

Because I'm also annoyed right now, I raise my voice a little "I can't fucking help it! Do you know how hard this kind of thing is for me?!"

I continue "I'm not like you, Sophie. Things don't just come easy to me like they do to you. I try and work hard but I just fail every single time! There's absolutely no way that I'm gonna do good here so I might as well just leave!"

I can tell that she feels terrible for getting angry at me as she lowers her head, guilt in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you." She apologises, and I can tell that it's sincere "I just want you to do good, that's all."

"I know." I tell her "And I'm sorry for losing my shit too, I'm just stressed."

A small smirk appears on my face as I have an idea "So why don't you help me with the dance? You're the best dancer here so maybe I can learn a thing or two from you."

Even though her head is still lowered, I can tell that she's excited to help me out with the dance. We love spending time together so even though we only have a short time to do it, I know that Sophie will try her best to help me.

So we end up spending the next ten minutes in a corner of the room, Sophie helping with corrections and reminding me to point my toes. And even though ballet certainly isn't what I want to be doing right now, I can't complain about the feeling of Sophie's hands all over my body.

I need sex.

And before I can think about sex and Sophie's hands near my ass, I hear that same man entering the room "Let's get back to rehearsal everyone!"

I walk over to the same spot as before, but this time I feel much better about this situation. And instead of getting distracted, I concentrate on our instructor, making sure that I remember the dance.

But I still don't think that I have a shot at this.