The Girl With The Tattoo

31. your secrets safe with me

Lexi

Today is the last day of the trip. Yesterday, I'd walked back to our room with a massive award that I certainly didn't deserve and I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do about it. And now Mr Adams is forcing us to watch a ballet show in a theatre across the street from our accommodation. I'm already bored and the show hasn't even started!

"Aren't you excited?" Sophie asks me, the two of us sat beside one another.

"Yeah." I lie, mustering up a fake smile to make it seem convincing "So excited."

"Me too." Sophie says "I've always wanted to watch a show like this. Mom would take me to her studio's recitals but I've never been to anything like this before."

I begin to fidget with whatever I can as I have something on my mind... Whilst I was in the bathroom, I'd bumped into Isabella and she'd told me to meet her there at the start of the show.

I don't know what she's planning but I have to find out.

And as the lights begin to dim in the theatre, I decide to leave "You know what, I'll be back soon." I tell Sophie.

"Where are you going?" She asks me, clearly confused as to why I would be leaving when the show hasn't even started.

"I'll tell you later." I promise her.

She nods "Oh, okay..."

I get up from my seat, making my way down the halls so that I can meet Isabella in the bathroom. It's a weird place to meet but she's always been a little strange so I'm not going to question it.

And as I walk inside, I see her seated on the ledge where the sinks are, playing with the taps.

I stand as far away from her as possible "What the fuck is this about? I've just had to leave during the show. My Adams is gonna kill me when I get back!"

"I just wanted to talk to you." Isabella tells me and I'm wondering whether I should believe her or not.

I probably shouldn't.

"You wanted to talk to me?" I ask her "Why the fuck would you wanna talk to me?! I don't know if you remember but you've been making my life a living hell for the past couple of weeks."

"And I have my reasons for that and I'm sorry." She tries to apologise to me.

"Go on then." I walk closer to her "What did you want to talk to me about?"

She takes a deep breath before I start to see tears forming in her eyes. I furrow my brows as I watch as she hides her face in embarrassment, wiping away the tears that have fallen onto her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" I ask her, trying to keep my distance because I don't know whether this is a trick.

"I'm such a terrible person!" She cries, her hands now shaking.

"What happened?" I ask her.

She finally lifts her head to look at me, and I see her mascara covering her cheeks, smudged from her tears.

And I'm shocked when she admits this "I had an abortion on Saturday, just before we came here. I went to the clinic in town and they talked to me about my options and if I was making the right decision. I told them I was and then they gave me these pills to take."

She continues "And I hid in my room and I didn't even tell my mom. She knew something was wrong but I just told her that I had a stomach ache. And I cried all night and there was so much blood!"

"I'm scared." She whimpers.

"Why are you scared?" I ask her "It's done, you don't have to think about it again."

"I haven't even told Dan." She admits to me, talking about her boyfriend Daniel "And he'll probably hate me if he finds out."

I'm surprised that Isabella chose to have an abortion. I mean, she'd always brag about how in love her and Daniel were and she's already told me that she wanted a kid of her own. One day she was browsing stores online for baby clothes and she seemed so excited for her future.

I always thought that she was crazy but I get that other people want a family. It's just not something that I've really thought about or wanted.

"He won't hate you." I try to convince her "He'll probably just be a little upset that you didn't tell him."

"No, he'll hate me!" She looks serious as she says this "You don't know him like I do. His parents are Catholics and they don't support abortions. They'd tell him to break up with me and we'd be done."

"Just don't tell him then." I suggest "It's not like he's gonna find out."

And then she looks deeply into my eyes as she says "You're not gonna tell anyone, are you?"

I shake my head "No, of course I'm not."

"Good. You better not say a word to anyone or I swear I'll kill you!"

I shake my head, laughing at the way that she's acting "Jesus, I'm not gonna say anything!"

She nods slowly, a smile on her face as she says "Thank you. You always were kind to me. I mean, I know I can be a bitch sometimes but I just want you to know that I always did care about you."

I don't know what to believe right now. Every day for the past couple of weeks, she hasn't stopped making my life a living hell. She's completely made me hate my body again and even though she's going through a lot, I still don't forgive her for what she's done.

"You're not gonna apologise for the way that you've been treating me?" I ask her, a serious look on my face.

"I'm sorry." She apologises "I've been taking my own problems out on you. I've also just always been a little jealous of you. I mean, you're skinny and gorgeous whereas my mom makes me run for an hour every morning to lose my fat around my thighs."

"I'm sorry that she treats you that way." I tell her.

"Yeah well, you're not the only one that sticks their fingers down their throat in order to be perfect." She tells me, talking about a habit of mine.

And then she changes the conversation "I think you should probably get back in there. I wouldn't want Mr Adams punishing you because of me."

I nod, before turning around so that I can leave the room and get back to Sophie. I know that Mr Adams is going to give me a hard time for leaving but I really don't care anymore. But before I can leave, I hear her voice again and I turn back around so that I can look at her.

"And Lexi, you tell anymore and I will kill you."She reminds me, a serious look on her face which tells me that she's probably telling the truth.

I then turn away from her once again, grabbing the door handle and pulling it open. I walk down the halls towards the theatre once again, walking into there where I'm greeted by Mr Adams's voice immediately.

"Ah, Miss Donovan!" He raises his voice, all of the kids in the room turning to look my way "Nice of you to join us! You've only missed a whole half of the show!"