The Girl With The Tattoo

28. asking for forgiveness

Lexi

Sophie seems to be giving me the silent treatment. Honestly, I don't know why she's acting like this. I've figured that it's probably because Amber showed up but it's not like I planned for her to be here.

Now she's not talking to me but somehow it's seeming to work in my favour. Because things are awkward with Sophie and I right now, it's helping me focus on this dance that I'm learning instead of being distracted by her every few seconds.

I'm standing at the ballet barre, the dance instructor watching our every move and critiquing us.

I feel my heart starting to beat faster as our instructor walks over to me, glaring at me with a serious look on her face.

All of a sudden, she asks me a question "What is your name?"

"Lexi." I tell her, nervously.

There's a moment of silence before she turns to the rest of the class and says "You should all pay attention to this young lady here. Beautiful work!"

My eyes widen as she says this. I've honestly never had someone compliment me like that. Not even Mr Adams has said one nice thing about me before.

"Th- thank you." I stutter.

"You have a beautiful pointe." She compliments me once again.

Maybe I'm not as bad as I thought I was.

As she walks away from me to look at the other girls in the room, I turn to Sophie and I watch as she smiles at me. The smile was weak though and I could tell that she was hesitant to do it.

"Okay ladies, class is now finished!" Our instructor announces and I feel a sense of relief wash over me "Tomorrow will be your last day where we will be announcing which girl we have chosen for the scholarship."

Everyone in the room begins to clap and I hesitantly join in.

After the woman leaves the room, all of the dancers begin to gather in groups to discuss the scholarship. Instead, I walk over to where my bag is, bumping into Sophie in the process.

She looks at me, before saying "Good job today."

"Thanks." I smile at her "I don't know why she said that about me. I mean, you're way better and you deserve to be noticed."

"Not this again." Sophie rolls her eyes, but I can't help but notice that it seems playful.

Maybe she's not as mad at me now?

And because I want this to be over, I decide to apologise to her "Look, Soph, I'm sorry about what happened back there. I know that it's pretty fucked up to talk to my ex, let alone introduce her to you."

I continue "It's just that she knows a lot about me, a lot of my secrets, and she was there for me when I was going through a lot a few years ago."

"I know that it's hard to understand, and I get that you're mad at me, but I want you to know that I'm sorry." I apologise to her, not wanting to upset her anymore.

She looks at the ground, and I can tell that she's thinking about what I've just said to her.

She takes a moment, before saying "I know you didn't mean to hurt me, you're not like that."

"I just want us to be on the same page." She tells me, finally turning her whole body towards me "I want to be able to trust that you're not gonna leave me for some hot girl that's down to have sex at any moment."

She continues "I know that I'm not the type of girl that you'd usually go for but we have something here and I don't want to fuck it up just because your ex showed up."

"Me neither." I move closer to her "I really didn't mean for her to show up today."

"I know." She says "And I have to admit that she was actually really sweet."

I smile "Yeah, she's okay sometimes."

I continue "She helped me through a difficult time in my life and even though we're not together anymore, she sometimes checks in on me to make sure I'm doing okay."

"But I can tell her to leave me alone, she'll get it." I suggest to her.

"No, you shouldn't have to do that. I was just being dramatic before." She convinces me not to tell Amber to back off.

"Are you sure?" I ask her "I mean, I can text her and tell her to fuck off, she won't ask any questions."

"No!" Sophie rests her hand on my arm "It's fine."

And then she says "No more talking about this now, okay? I hate arguing."

"Yeah, me too." I giggle, finally feeling like this is going to be over.

"Plus, you did look good in rehearsal today..." Sophie blushes as she says this to me "I don't think I could stay mad at you anyway, I was too busy staring at you the whole class."

"Really? You were?" I ask her, feeling slightly turned on by her complimenting me.

And then she says "But your bun could've been tighter-."

"Hey, fuck off!" I hit her arm playfully "You're so not doing my hair tomorrow! I don't give a fuck, I'm doing it myself."

"Ugh, not fair!" Sophie pretends to be mad at me.

I grab Sophie's arm as I lead her out of the room. The last place I want to be right now is here when we could be anywhere else. Sophie had let me borrow some money when we'd gotten here and I want to use it to buy her something nice in the city.

I've always wanted to take a girl out for dinner or to watch the sunset as we lay on the beach together. But I actually don't think there are any beaches in the city... Still, we could go out for dinner!

"How about I take you for dinner, my treat?" I suggest, and I watch as a smile appears on Sophie's face.

"So is that your way of saying sorry?" She asks me.

"Kind of." I laugh "Don't make fun of me, I'm trying!"

Sophie looks deeply into my eyes, pausing for a few seconds before saying "Dinner would be great."

"Only if you're paying." She winks at me.

"It's literally your money I have." I remind her, laughing at how forgetful she is.

"Oh, yeah it is!" She remembers "But we can just pretend you brought it with you to take me out for dinner."

"Okay, let's do that." I agree with Sophie.

It's annoying that I don't have my own money but dad still won't let me have a job and he's practically broke himself. I also don't want to tell him that I have a girlfriend because he's definitely homophobic despite what I know about him.

He makes fun of my brother, calling him many different slurs, assuming that he's gay. He doesn't have a clue about me though and he always asks when I'm going to have a boyfriend. He honestly makes me sick and so does the thought of me having a boyfriend.

"Come on, let's get out of here." I say to Sophie as I see the doors on my right.