The Girl With The Tattoo

24. curiosity

Sophie

Mum called almost an hour ago to check in on me and to see how I was doing. I told her about how amazing it is over here in the city and how I'd like to dance here one day.

And while I was talking to my mum, I could tell that something was bothering Lexi a little.

She's got a gloomy look on her face so I decide to try and cheer her up "Come on, we should start unpacking."

"Ugh, are you fucking kidding me?!" She whines.

I guess that didn't work.

"No, we gotta unpack!" I tell her whilst moving off of my bed to walk towards my suitcase.

But because I don't see Lexi following me to help out with her own, I turn my head so that I can see her. And unexpectedly, she's still laying on her own bed, fidgeting with some spinner toy that she'd bought from a store down the street.

"Your suitcase isn't going to unpack itself." I tell her, raising my brows.

She seems unbothered "Good. It can wait until tomorrow, I don't give a fuck."

I give in, deciding to do it myself "Alright, I'll do it for you but only once."

"Ah, you're the best!" She laughs at the fact that I'm doing almost everything for her.

I begin to unpack my things, getting slightly bored with it immediately because I always pack the same items and there are never any surprises. There's my toothbrush, my clothes, my dance shoes and a whole bunch of homework that I still haven't completed.

And as soon as I'm finished with my things, I move over to Lexi's suitcase, my eyes widening immediately at the thing I find first.

"Lexi, what the hell?!" I raise my voice as I hold something up to show her.

She looks over to see what's going on, immediately laughing at what she sees.

"It's not funny, why would you bring this here?!" I ask her, in disbelief.

"Oh my god, it's a dildo not a fucking bomb! You don't gotta hold it like that!" She continues laughing. 

"Yeah, I know what it is but what is it doing here?!" I ask her, not used to my roommates bringing stuff like this with them.

"None of your goddamn business, girlfriend!" She jokes "Now pass it over, I don't want you fucking with my things."

I throw it over to her, not wanting to have hold of it for a second longer. And because I'm a distance away from her, it misses her, hitting the wall behind instead.

"Jesus, don't break it!" She whines, before taking time to inspect it for any damage that might've been done by my bad throwing skills.

I decide to let it go, but as I'm searching further into her suitcase, my hand touches something else that catches me off guard.

"Lexi, are you kidding?!" I raise my voice as I hold up a purple vibrator.

She giggles to herself "Shit, I forgot that I packed that!"

"Yeah well, you're supposed to be focused on dance, not bringing a whole collection of these in your suitcase." I remind her, not exactly finding any of this funny unlike she is.

"It's my comfort toy." She giggles.

"Yeah well, it's not funny." I show that I'm not amused.

It's not that any of this grosses me out at all, it's just that I'm not comfortable with being sexual yet. My mom has never actually spoken to me about sex and asking for a vibrator would be an absolute no. I know some of the other girls have them but I'm just different.

I really like Lexi and I can't wait to explore things with her but sometimes she's a little too much.

"Jesus, what's up your ass today?" She rolls her eyes at me.

"N- nothing." I sigh, deciding to tell her the truth "It's just that my mom's putting a lot of pressure on me to do good here and I just don't want to let her down. I'm just stressed, that's all."

She seems to understand "Yeah, I get it. It must suck to have a mom that's so involved with dance. But luckily I won't ever have to worry about that, my mom's probably dead now."

"Apparently she used to fuck guys to pay for her crack so she's probably died from aids or some shit." She tells me, not holding back on giving me all of the gruesome details.

"Do you ever want to talk to your mom?" I ask her.

"No, fuck no! She's a cunt!" She says, bluntly.

But before I can ask any more questions, she stops me "Anyway, you should get back to unpacking."

I return to unpacking her suitcase and thankfully I don't find anything else unusual. But a smile appears on my face as I come across a teddy bear amongst her clothes, a pink bow around its neck. I didn't strike Lexi to be one to carry around a childhood toy.

I don't bring attention to it as I don't want her to be embarrassed, so instead I continue on like I don't have a million questions.

But I'm instantly distracted as Lexi shoots up off of her bed, gazing at her phone.

"I gotta go." She announces "Just finish unpacking my shit, I'll be back later."

"What? Where are you going?" I ask her, confused as to where she could possibly be going in a place like this "There's nowhere to go around here."

"Don't worry I'll be back in like an hour!" She holds back on giving me any details.

I watch as she rushes to grab her jacket. She brushes her hair quickly, before turning the handle of the door to leave.

"You didn't tell me where you were going?!" I raise my voice as she rushes out of the room.

"Lexi!" I shout, but I realise that she can't hear me as she's already gone.

Sometimes I feel like she's just so different to me. Truthfully, I wouldn't keep things from her yet she's more than happy to keep things from me. I mean, I understand that she has her own life but she's supposed to trust me.

So instead of spending a few hours with Lexi before lights out, I crash on my bed, pulling out my phone so that I can talk to Hailey and my mum.