𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐒 | 𝐏𝐉𝐌 𝐅𝐅 [𝟏𝟖+]

52: Tension To Pleasure

*WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MILD SEXUAL CONTENT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.*

A week later...

This past week has been nothing short of amazing, but reality has really started to kick in. I've barely gotten any sleep, and only showered twice...but at least I finally got to shave. Though it's rewarding to be a mom, it was hitting me like a train.

I've been trying to keep a schedule with Honey, but she's a hungry girl. Luckily my milk has been coming in well and I've been pumping some, storing extra in the fridge downstairs in the kitchen. We had all of her bottles and other things stocked in there.

But I was a wreck. My sleep schedule was upside-down and Jimin stayed locked away in his office most of the day. He would play with Honey in the morning, at night, and when he had a spare moment...but that was rare. Sometimes he would rock her in the middle of the night when she cried, just so I could get some extra minutes of sleep.

I was thankful for his help, but we quickly had to learn balance and sacrifice. I knew he was swamped with work, it was my job to be a housewife and mother, anyway. But we were stressed, barely even talking to each other throughout the day. We just took care of Honey, making her our first priority.

I had a feeling this would happen. Distance would start to accumulate between us. Though we bonded over cute things with Honey, like her dimples when she smiled, I could just feel the tension between us.

It was inevitably gonna happen, but I tried to stay strong...for my daughter. I didn't want to argue, curse, or fight in front of her. She may be a week old, but I didn't want her to absorb any of that.

And I felt selfish to ask for help from Mrs. Park, Ms. Ann, Pierre, or even Ella. It's only been a week and I started to realize motherhood is hard. The breastfeeding, the no sleep, changing diapers, keeping her entertained, trying to run my online business, trying to support Jimin, all of it; it was hard.

Just to even get a second to myself was impossible. My second to myself was going to the bathroom or brushing my teeth...and even when I went to the bathroom, I brought Honey in with me in her little portable rocker.

I was thankful for the two showers I got this week when Jimin watched her on the bed or had skin-to-skin, but I was craving another one...one where I actually washed my hair.

And we haven't let anyone see her yet, because we gave Pierre and Ms. Ann a couple of weeks off so we could get into the swing of things as a family. But we couldn't wait until all our family and friends met her, they were so excited.

Speaking of baby girl, I thought I would give her a first bath, now that it's been about a week. She was getting a little stinky...like warm bread almost. I always wiped her down good and changed her onesies daily, but she needed a full baby-bath tonight. She also had her first number two, we were so proud of her.