Yandere Simulator: 1980s

Chapter 55 - Reality Check

Damn it! It was just a dream.

How I wish I wasn't dreaming!

My heart felt warm, fuzzy. My cheeks were burning hot, like I had fever. My stomach was fluttering and even aching a bit, like I'm stuck in a roller coaster. It was a fusion of unrelated sensations.

After all, isn't love complicated?

But more than love, human emotions are complicated. Love is simple, really. You are devoted to one person for the rest of your life. Emotions ruin everything. But then love wouldn't exist, I guess.

It's all beyond my comprehension. As someone who never felt emotions before meeting Senpai, I never bothered to understand emotions. Why should I?

I tried to see the silver lining of my "disorder". Emotions felt like a weakness to me. People feel sad for the most trivial matters. They cry over the past that can never be changed.

They get scared over things that never happened or might happen and label it as anxiety. Every single human is anxious. What is everyone so scared of? I wondered.

But now.....

I kind of get it.

Emotions are complicated, but they are amazing.

It's the real beauty of life.

Feeling emotions after meeting Senpai changed everything in me. I felt like a human instead of an alive body.

But God, are they hard to control.

I feel like I'm losing my mind the second I see any girl who's after my Senpai. My heart beat fast while harming them, but not in the same way as when I see Senpai.

Same sensations, different feelings. Emotions change it all.

The reason I need Senpai is to make me human. The same way it happened for my mother.

My mother is bubbly and bright. She can't stop talking about her husband, who's supposed to be my father. We are related, but I don't think of him as a parent. He was never there for me.

He was never there at all.

He agreed to everything my mother demanded, never uttered a word, and doesn't even bother to be there for me. My mother is the only parent there for me.

One day, I found out why my father was this way. I snuck in their room and I saw photos of a girl in his bedside table draw. Some with him, some candid. Behind the photos were marked the dates and what happened that day.

Then, there was one photo of a church. In the center there was a framed photo in the photo. On the back it said, "I miss you, my love." My father loved a woman who wasn't my mother. It made me resent him.

Why was he still with my mother who did nothing but love him? Why did he bother starting a family with her? Why did his love die?

I didn't find my answers. But I understood enough.

My mother is not at all like me. She claims she had the exact "problem" as me, but once she met my father, everything changed for her. She felt emotions, she felt free. She said that I'll too feel this one day.

I finally found the man who could change everything for me.

I checked the time - it was nearly 4:45. I had to be at the cherry blossom tree by 5!

I went to the bathroom to check my hair and clothes. I finger-combed my hair and fixed my uniform which frankly didn't need any fixing. I just want to look good for my Senpai.

Today is the day I worked so hard on! It has to be perfect!

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I peek from the tree - no one. Not a soul. I sigh in regret. It's only been ten minutes and there's no sign of him. I can't believe he could ever flake out!

I couldn't give up. I peek one more time and I see someone running. It was Senpai! I took a deep, nervous breath and stood in front of the tree.

He came running and his figure increased in size with every step. In a few blinks, he was standing in front of me. He bent a little, placed his palms on his knees and took a breather.

"Senpai..." I let out. What am I supposed to say?!

"It was you who sent the note?" He asked. I nod. He stood straight. "Uh, wow, uh, I never could've guessed it." This was the closest I've ever been with him. He's so handsome!

"I..." I stutter. Not again! "I..." I stare at the ground. I can't believe I'm more embarrassing than my dreams.

No, I can't chicken out like this! Just say the words. The special three words! Besides, what is the worst that could happen during a confession?

"I want to say I-"

"Stop right there!" I heard a raspy manly voice. Senpai turned his face and cleared my peripheral view.

It was the journalist and a line of officers standing behind him.

"Ryoba Aishi, you are under arrest!"

This is the worst that could happen during a confession.

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