Gerard way Imagines

Be still with me

Sometimes you can get scared by the most perfect things. Mainly because of the thought of all being a lie, of being nothing at all. And when everyone tells you exactly that, someday you'll believe it.
So you started to back away. You knew he wanted the best for you, but you couldn't help the feeling of worry and guilt welling up inside your chest once he would hold you close. You couldn't process the moment anymore. You would panic even though he'd just taken your hand in his. Something meant to be comforting would turn into the most scary thing possible. How did it happen.
How.
No one knows.
But it happened.
So fast and so suddenly.
No one really saw it coming.
He did.

He noticed how strange you reacted when he climbed inside the bed next to you. Your form would shrink, trying to hide from him. You wouldn't dare to change in front of him, and wouldn't let him kiss you anymore. It started to take a toll on him. Because no one would just ignore it.
He loved you.
He really did.
But he couldn't help but feel hurt.

It was dark, and he got scared by the lack of sound inside the house. Nothing. Where you home?
You had to.
Where else.
So he got upstairs and found the bedroom door ajar, but it was dark in there too. Only small sobs could be heard, and that did it to make hin go inside. It took him very ounce of power in his body not to burst inside, because he knew you would be scared. How sad.
To think he could scare you.
But he knew it was true.
"Y/n..?"
...
He couldn't see you,but he heard you. He switched the small tiny lamp on the Nightstand on, and tears started to form behind his eyes once he saw you. You were curled up in a small ball in a corner, barely lit by the golden light. You held your head in your hands, hands that grabbed your hair almost in an agressive manner. "y/n.. Please.." You shook your head. Slowly he walked towards you and decided to make one last attempt. "Please..." again. "No.." he looked surprised. "Stop lying I.. I know you're playing around I.. I can't do this much longer.." he looked hurt and confused at the same time. "Sweetheart please stop doing this.. I want to help you.." Head shake again. You couldn't. So he just took you in his embrace. He knew that it was risky to do that, because in the state you were in you could easily panic. And that was exactly what you did. You screamed. You tried to get out of his arms. As if he would hurt you. But he held on. Crying himself. But he had to try. At least one last time. Maybe.

Suddenly it stopped. Your head was in his hands, and suddenly his whispering soothed you again. His eyes made you feel at ease again, his touch warming up your body, starting with your cheeks. "It's okay,you'll be okay, we will be okay.. you're fine,okay? I'll keep you safe, I promise, just trust me okay? I need you to trust me Sweetheart." You couldn't answer. Hoe could you be so selfish? Shutting him out like that? Hurting hum like that? Doubting his love for you? You could only cry,and he started to accept his loss. But you nearly tackled him, holding onto his body like everything depended on it. He smiled, relieved. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I'm sorry.." You said again and again. He just soothed you, rocking you gently back and forth.

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People started to pull you both apart because they couldn't understand that you were meant for each other. And once you saw that too, you started loving him again. Because you didn't need them. You only needed him.