Harry Potter Imagines and Preferences

Sirius*Leave a Light On

Warnings: Drugs, swearing, depression, mention of abuse and self-harm.

This isn't meant to glorify anything. If your struggling, please find help.

Also, yes this is based on Tom Walker's song 'I will leave a light on' and some of his lyrics are included. And yes I'm doing it based on a Tom Walker song because I got tickets for one of his shows in February.

Also, also, if you don't know who Tom Walker is check him out because he's amazing.

"HELLO (Y/N)" Mrs. Potters kind shriek rang through the phone, causing me to yank the phone back, "HOW ARE YOU, DEAR?"

"I'm fine Mrs. Potter," I said, using the phone as if it was on speaker, "I was wondering if I could speak to Sirius," I'd helped the potters set up a landline last summer so I would be able to phone James and Sirius since owls sometimes took to long. It was hard for them to understand muggle phones.

This was heard every time I called, and they'd shriek down the other end, "SIRIUS IS OUT DARLING,"

"Oh, okay. Can you tell Sirius and James- "?

"JAMES IS HERE," She said, and I felt my stomach start to tighten, "I CAN GO GET HIM- "

"Where's Sirius?" I cut her off by accident.

"HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT GOING TO THE SHOPS BUT JAMES HADNT WOKEN UP,"

"Okay," I said as I began to pace "Thanks anyway. Can you tell him to call me back? Bye,"

"BYE DEAR,"

Where was Sirius? Sirius never went to muggle shops without me, not understanding the money well enough, and never went to a wizard shop himself, scared he'd run into family or worse.

I paced my living room, eventually forcing myself to sit. Both my parents were at work and I was the only one in the house. I took this opportunity to go into my kitchen, open a window, and take out a cigarette.

Bad habits die hard, I know. Sirius had started smoking a couple years ago and I used to step outside with him to keep him company. One day I asked to try one, a couple times I asked for a draw. He never forced me and never said no. then one day I asked if he had a spare. Sirius said no, saying it wasn't a good thing and I'd make it a habit. I told him I had control and he gave me one, saying I'd make my own decision. I hate it when he's right.

It wasn't something I did often, really. at parties or if I was stepping out with someone then sure but right now it felt like every cell in my body was twitching with nerves.

Sirius, try as he might, wasn't a happy person. He wanted to be. His parents had been abusive, his family hated him, his brother no longer spoke to him, teachers called him a slacker despite his O's and E's, students judged his background, and now he's been kicked out his house.

Sure, he's basically James' brother but still.

He'd been trained not to have emotions. Have a stiff upper lip. But Sirius wasn't like that, he was emotional. I found a couple things out when I stepped out for him to have a smoke since he began smoking due to stress. I guess he began to trust me and then he had a break down one day in front of me.

Sirius was still living at home and one of his teachers had sent a letter home. Bad decision. Dumbledore had quietly and discreetly insisted on teachers not sending letters to the Black family. It was too dangerous with war brewing to try to take Sirius out of the home himself, but he did what he could. One teacher decided otherwise.