Chapter: 105

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"Why?" His voice is dangerously low while his grip on my hand tightens.

Why?

Because life is too long to live alone.

"Why?" He growls angrily when I don't answer him.

Because, maybe, I was weak.

"Avery, I have asked you something." He grabs me from my arms and turns me to him, "Answer me." His grip on my arms painfully tightens to the point I feel it will bruise.

Because I wanted to feel something... and that something was feeling of being freed from this world.

"You promised me." Leaving my arms, he holds my face in his palms, "You fucking promised me, you would never try to do something like this again." His anger filled gaze locks with mine.

"You promised me." I hold back his gaze unflinchingly, "You would never leave me."

"I had reasons, the reasons which you know." He yells harshly, "I wanted to protect you."

"I had my reasons too, Alec, the reasons which you don't know." I smile bitterly, "Even I wanted to protect myself."

"I was weak, Alec." My voice just above a whisper, "The person whom I loved, with everything I had, left me and the person who means everything to me was leaving me. What was left there for me to live?" I stare at him.

When I found out Pops was dying that was just the last straw, for me. I didn't want to be in a world where I don't have my Pops with me. I never wished to watch him die, and see my worst nightmare coming true before my eyes, I just wanted to end my life.

I remember pressing that cold knife against my wrist and slicing it without any fear or regret then waiting for the moment where finally I would find my peace.

But what I didn't know was that I would find my peace, not in death, but in life... the life that was breathing inside me.

Kris found me passed out in my room and she took me to the hospital. Later I discovered that I was pregnant and miraculously my baby remained unharmed... it just felt like after snatching everything from me, somebody gave me the world.

"It was the day when Avy died, and Liam's mother was born." I bring my wrist in front of him, as I caress the heartbeat with my finger.

His hands fall to his sides while he looks at me with an emotion which I can recognize as pain which brings a small smile on my lips.

"It's okay." I hold his hand momentarily and give it a reassuring squeeze, "Nothing hurts me anymore."

"It is good, that every person who left me took away a small part of me with themselves." Biting my lip I shrug, "Last night, I buried the remaining part of Avy along with the memories which brought nothing but tears in her eyes. Now, I am completely free of her."

"I don't hate you, Alec." I admit honestly, "Because I am thankful to you. Somewhere you gave me the reason to live, you left something with me which is now my everything." Swallowing, I hold back my emotions.

"I know your eyes always search for the Avery which you knew, but you will not find her anymore. So, don't wish for something which you can never get, as in the end, only you will be the one who is going to be hurt." I glance down, exhaling a small breath, "You deserve happiness, you deserve love, find someone who can give you everything which you deserve."

"I don't have anything to give you, what I had, I have already given you." Raising my hands, I glance at my empty hands, hoping that he will understand nothing will come out of his stubborn wish.

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