She Talks to Angels | {BOOK 2}

17|Cass has Doubts

I sat on a park bench, watching kids play on the playground. My mind, despite what had just gone down, was on Maddie. She would be just over three months old right now if I hadn't had the miscarriage and delivered her on time. Beside me, Dean sat also staring, most likely thinking about what had happened instead of our daughter like me. Neither of us were looking in that direction, but I think we both sensed when Castiel appeared on the second park bench next to the one we sat on.

"Let me guess, you're here for the 'I told you so'," Dean said.

"No," Castiel answered.

"Well, good, because I'm really not interested."

"I'm not here to judge you, Dean. To judge either of you."

"Then why are you here?" I asked, glancing over at the angel.

"Our orders-"

"Yeah, you know, I've had about enough of these orders of yours," Dean interrupted him.

"Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain, they were to do whatever Dean told us to do," Cass continued.

"Your orders were to follow my orders?" Dean repeated.

"It was a test, to see how you would perform under... battlefield conditions, you might say."

"It was a witch, not the Tet Offensive."

It was silent for a few minutes, and then Dean spoke again.

"So I, uh, failed your test, huh? I get it. But you know what? If you would have waved your magic time-traveling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I'd make the same call. Cause see, I don't know what's gonna happen when the seals are broken, hell I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But what I do know is, that this, here? These kids, the swings, the trees, all of it is here because of Ellie, my brother and me."

"You misunderstand me, Dean, I'm not like you think," Cass shook his head. "I was praying that you would choose to save the town."

"You were?" Dean and I asked at the same time.

"These people, they're all my Father's creations. They're works of art, and yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken and we're one step closer to Hell on Earth, for all creation. Now that's not an expression, that's literal. The two of you of all people should appreciate what that means."

I tensed up beside Dean, who looked sad and pained by Cass's words.

"Can I tell the two of you something if you promise not to tell another soul?"

"Okay," I nodded, looking over at the angel.

"I'm not a... hammer as Eleanor says. I have questions, I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here. But in the coming months, you will have more decisions to make. Both of you. I don't envy the weight on either of your shoulders. I truly don't."

With that, Castiel disappeared from his bench, leaving Dean and I alone.

"What did he mean?"

"What?"

"He said the two of us should appreciate what it means to have Hell on Earth. What did he mean?"

I bit my lip, turning to look hesitantly over at Dean.

"While you were stuck in the 1970's, Cass sent me back to see everything that happened to you while you were in Hell."

Dean was silent, staring at the playground instead of meeting my eye.

"Dean?" I asked hesitantly.

"You saw everything?"

"Yeah..."

Without another word, Dean stood and started heading back to the Impala.

⁘

I turned down another street, getting closer to my destination as I adjusted the strap of the backpack I carried. Finally, I stopped in front of a dark blue house with white trim. Taking a deep breath, I headed up the front walkway toward the door. I took out my key and unlocked it, heading inside. As quietly as I could, I crept down the hallway in the direction of the noises I could make out from deeper inside the house.

I found the source of the noise in the kitchen. He had his back to me while he worked on cooking dinner. He was tall, just a few inches shorter than Dean and had cropped blond hair. He was wearing grey slacks and a maroon dress shirt.

"Honey, I'm home," I called over softly.

There was a clatter as he dropped the spoon he'd been using to stir whatever concoction he'd been making for dinner on the counter and he whirled around to face me.

"Ellie Bellie?"

"Hi, Brigham," I smiled.

In two strides, Brigham had met me, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning in to kiss me. I responded readily, wrapping my arms around his neck and putting everything I could into the kiss.

"Wait," Brigham said, pulling back a little, but keeping his arms around my waist. "What... Why are you here?"

"Do I really need an excuse to come see you?" I shot back.

"Eleanor."

I sighed, stepping out of his arms.

"Dinner smells amazing."

"Eleanor, what happened?"

"I'm starving. How about I set the table while you finish up in here, okay?"

I pushed past him, moving to grab the dishes out of their cupboards in order to set the table for dinner.

"Eleanor Willow Dawson, what the hell is going on?"

"Can't we talk about this later, Brigham. I've been traveling on buses for three days, I haven't eaten since noon yesterday and I'd like to take a shower and get some rest as soon as I have some food in my belly. That a problem?"

Brigham studied me quietly with his blue eyes and then moved back over to the stove to finish cooking.

"It was something with Dean, wasn't it?"

"Brigham, I don't want to talk about this right now."

"But it was something with Dean."

I didn't respond, carrying the two bowls and spoons over to the dining room table. I debated briefly pulling my phone out and turning it on, just to check it, but decided against it. I didn't want to see the dozens of missed calls and texts from the Winchester brothers. I'd turned off my GPS before powering down my phone just for extra measure. I didn't want to be tracked down, and I didn't want to have to see and hear all the messages Sam and Dean had left for me.

"Soup's up," Brigham announced, placing the pot on the table. 

Dinner passed in dead silence.