She Talks to Angels | {BOOK 2}

33|The Hospital

My whole body was numb, my eyes red and puffy from crying and my cheeks stained from tear tracks. Dean was laying in a hospital bed, heavily bandaged with a breathing tube and IV drip. I was so sick of always ending up in this position, seeing him laying helpless in the damn hospital. It had happened too many times for my liking; the heart attack, the coma, and now this. Sam and Castiel had argued outside in the hall at some point, but I couldn't recall how long ago it had been or what they'd said to each other.

All I knew was Dean had ended up in this position because the angels didn't listen and had sent Dean in to torture Alastair even after he begged them not to make him do it.

"I'm sorry, Dean," I whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't speak up, didn't fight harder to keep you out of that room. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you like I should have been when you got back from Hell."

I reached up, playing with my locket as fresh tears made their way silently down my cheeks.

"I wish you had seen her, Dean. She was so tiny... too tiny. I bet she would have been amazing. The perfect mix of you and me. Could you imagine the amount of sass she would have had?"

I chuckled sadly to myself.

"Cass told me... what Alastair told you... about you breaking the first seal... I'm sorry. But we'll figure it out. Together. We can figure it all out. But you have to wake up, okay? You promised me. You said you'd never leave me, so you better wake up, Winchester, or I swear I will beat your ass all over again."

The only response I got, like the other times this happened, was the steady beeping of the monitors as they kept track of Dean's vitals.

⁘

"How is he?" Sam asked, coming into the room.

"No change," I shook my head.

We were both quiet, watching Dean in the bed for a few minutes.

"Why is it always him that ends up in the damn bed?" I whispered.

"I don't know, Ellie."

I reached up, swiping the tears that had started to fall away quickly before they could stain my cheeks.

"This whole thing is so messed up," I continued. "Is it terrible for me to wish they never saved him from Hell? That this whole deal with the damn seals never happened?"

"I don't think so... I know I've thought about it before, too."

"Remember when hunting meant going after ghosts and playing stupid pranks on each other?"

"Yeah... Simpler times," Sam let out a breathy laugh through his nose.

"No kidding," I muttered, tracing my finger in circles on the back of Dean's hand.

"You should head back to the motel. Try and get some sleep."

"No. I'm not leaving him."

"Ellie, you look exhausted. You've barely slept or eaten since Dean was admitted. Go get freshened up and rest for an hour or two and then you can come back. I'll stay with him."

I didn't respond, keeping my eyes fixed on Dean. Part of me knew Sam was right, I did need to get away for a little bit, but the stubborn part of me was determined to stay by the elder Winchester's side until he woke up.

"He'd want you to take care of yourself, Ellie. Go back to the motel."

Sighing, I stood from my seat beside Dean, my limbs aching in protest from staying in the same position for hours on end.

"One hour. And then I'll be back," I insisted.

"Just take care of yourself," Sam nodded.

With one last look at Dean, I took the keys from him, slipping past him and making my way out to the Impala.

⁘

I started beside the bed as there was the flutter of wings nearby. Glancing toward the foot of the bed showed Castiel had arrived. Dean had woken a few hours earlier and was no longer using the tube to aid his breathing. The angel looked over at me questioningly, and I gestured for him to take the chair beside me.

"Are you alright?" he addressed Dean once he sat.

"No thanks to you," Dean replied.

"You need to be more careful," the angel continued.

"You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap," I spoke beside him.

"That's not what I mean," Castiel shook his head. "Uriel is dead."

"Was it demons?" Dean asked.

"It was disobedience. He was working against us."

"Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?"

It was silent save for the beeping of the monitors following the inquiry. I glanced over at Cass, who's shoulders slumped a little as he answered.

"Yes. When we discovered Lilith's plans for you, we laid siege to Hell and we fought our way to get to you before you-"

"Jump-started the apocalypse," I finished quietly.

Dean glanced over at me, meeting my pained expression with one of his own.

"And we were too late," Cass continued.

"Why didn't you just leave me there, then?"

"It's not blame that falls on you, Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it."

"Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean?" Dean challenged the angel.

Castiel got the look he got on his face when he wanted to leave instead of answering, and Dean started to get angry.

"Hey! Don't go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch! What does that mean?!"

"I don't know," the angel admitted.

"Bull," I said, turning to look at him.

"I don't," Castiel insisted. "Dean, Eleanor, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you."

"Well, then you guys are screwed," Dean replied, voice breaking. "I can't do it, Cass. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not- I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me."

Tears had formed and were slowly making their way down Dean's cheeks as Castiel disappeared from the room. I reached out, taking Dean's hand in my own, both of us crying quietly as we sat together, not saying anything.