Restricted | Draco Malfoy

28

Dumbledore had us gathered in the Great Hall after our breakfast concluded. It had been a little over a week since the tournament had ended and the incident— as everyone was referring to it as— had happened. Our school year was coming to an end soon, and it seemed like nobody could wait for it to happen now that the other schools had left and we all had to roam the depressing halls every day and force ourselves to make it through.

This was not the fourth year I was expecting at all. All that time that I sat at home over the summer, begging to go back to school again, and this is where it had landed me. Begging to see my friends, to get out of my manor, to meet new people and make new friends. Now, all I wanted to do was go back to my manor and hide away for good. Because apparently when I am granted the grades of leaving the house and making new friends, I have nothing but bad luck on my side.

I was dressed in an all black button up shirt with a black skirt under my opened robes. All the black accessories— my socks and shoes, headband, pupils that carried little liveliness to the anymore— really tied together the entire depressing sight. All of it just made the bags under my eyes more prominent from the lack of sleep and the dreams I'd been getting each night. My hair was slightly curled, and I had on light makeup because I really was trying my best to look and feel as normal as I could.

I sat in between Dani and Maggie during our morning meal, but I could hardly get myself to stop staring straight ahead towards the other tables that were in the room and eat something. The atmosphere around us was depressing anymore that it did nothing but make my bad moods feel a thousand times worse. I couldn't wait until I was out of here... Like I said earlier, how ironic?

"I'm really sorry about everything you're going through," Dani said in a delicate voice while she rubbed my bicep with her hand to get my attention. "I know I tell you that everyday, but I am. I'm so sorry you feel like this. I hate this for you." She whispered. I turned and gave her a small smile to try and convince her otherwise.

"I'm fine." I lied with a shake of my head. "I'm starting to feel better, I promise. I'm just ready to go home— that's all." I shrugged. She gave me an understanding smile.

For all they could put together, I was absolutely gutted that my ex-lover had just died, and I was trying to cope with those kinds of feelings at such a young age. Sure... some of that could be considered true, but that wasn't the top of my list of worries. There were worst things that they didn't know about. Things that I could only share with a person that didn't want to share them with me.

"I'm sorry that things didn't work out with Draco. I don't mean to bring that up again either. We just haven't talked about it, and I wanted to make sure you were okay with all of that." She was right. We haven't talked about it. I wouldn't give anyone an answer about anything. What bothered them most was that Draco didn't either.

They knew we went to his dorm after the incident with Cedric. I think they all thought we were having some sentimental moment with one another— which I guess you could say was true. Draco caring for me so much that night didn't add to the cause of their beliefs either. They weren't completely stupid. They thought that we would come out with these found feelings for each other and that we would finally be back on speaking terms. That we would get together and make each other happy. They thought that all of this stress between us recently was all because we just liked each other and didn't know how to accept it.

They were half right. Draco and I did have a sentimental moment that night. We did like each other— no matter how much we denied it— but it wasn't that we didn't know how to accept it. It's that we couldn't accept it. It was a moment where we said goodbye to the life we had teased each other with this year. A life that we didn't know would feel so tempting to take, but fucking hell— it felt so good that we craved it so deeply. I wasn't sure which burned more: the feeling of longing for him, or the feeling of eternal rejection because I knew how he felt about having any relationships.