fifty four

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Louis Tomlinson
"I'm sorry..what!" I stand up from my seat with Harry on the phone. I was at work, talking to Zayn about Erin until I got a call from Harry, and he didn't sound good. "What do you mean? Is she okay?"

"I've got her to calm down but she's shaky and still hyperventilating," he said and I shake my head.

"What the fuck? Who was it, I'll fucking have their head—"

"Louis, chill, he's dead because I shot him—"

"I'm front of London you asshole!" I can't help but be mad at him. I have never pulled out the gun I keep on me in front of her because of things like this but Harry just goes ahead and kills someone's in front of her.

"Be happy I stopped before it got worse, don't get fucking pissy at me, how fucking stupid can you be to let her go by herself?"

"She needed to get something and I was late for work,"

"Well, you fucked up, get your ass over here," he said, and I roll my eyes and hand up.

"Zayn. I know we're almost done this but I have to go," I pick my keys up, stuffing them in my pocket. He just nods.

"All good, good luck?"

"I'll need it," I nod. I stride out the building, and to my car, rushing it and waste no time by driving home. I knew I shouldn't have let her, but I trusted her. I knew it was a bad idea, I don't know why I didn't just go with her.

This is my fault. I blame myself.

I made it home in 10 minutes and I walked into the house, closing the door behind me. They both looked up at me, she sat in the couch with a blanket around her, shivering crazily like she was freezing, Harry was just standing there because I knew he didn't know what to do.

As soon as she saw me, her eyes watered again. I walk over to the couch and sit next to her, and she cries into my chest. I hold the back of her head and she curls into a ball. She cries into me and this is like the first time I wasn't annoyed by her crying.

"I'm so sorry.." I whisper to her. I hold the back of her head and I press my lips to her soft hair. I kiss her head and she inhales twice sharply from her tears, taking a deep breath. "Are you okay?"

She shakes her head and continues to shake in my grip. I felt so guilty about this, and I know she didn't know it was going to happen, we both didn't but it's just scary to know that I can't leave her again, not alone in public.

And I bet this will stick with her forever and that's why I'll hate myself forever. I should've just been late to work because then I would've been able to keep her safe and I don't know why I thought letting her go by herself was an option.

But here she was, sniffling into me, my hand rubbing the back of her head. We sat in silence and Harry just stood there with his arms crossed, still here in concern. I stay silent, breathing out through my nose in guilt and I play with her hair in prayers she'll calm down.

She shuffles around so she was laying on me, and I shuffle myself as well so she was comfortable, one of my legs on the floor and the other was along the couch and she was curled up in between my legs. She grabs my shirt in her hands and fists it, I look up at Harry.

"Thank you," I nod to him and he nods back. He pats his jeans to make sure he's got everything and then walks out the house, I hear the lock click. I look at what was playing on the wide TV but it looked like the show she had already watched heaps of times.

She sniffs, then breathes out and I pout. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "It's not a big deal—"

"Yes it is," I cut her off. "He didn't actually...touch you did he?"

"Not before Harry...killed him," she says softly.

"I'm going to find out who did this," I shake my head and hug her tighter. 

"I don't want this to be a big deal—" she looks up at me and I look down at her.

"London...I..I know what it's like, okay?"

Her eyes drop sadder, and I hate bringing up my experience but if it's gonna make her feel better then I don't care. "Louis.."

"I do, and it is a big deal," I look down at her. "I knew I shouldn't have let you. I knew the possibilities, I mean, I clearly didn't know this would happen but I know everyone who lives here, and I know what they're like," I explain. "I should've been late for work and this wouldn't have happened,"

"Louis..." she pouts. "You're blaming yourself, stop. I'm shaken up because of the fact he was shot pretty much on me. I...I won't ever forget his touch but his death was even more terrifying then the rest,"

I sigh through my nose. "I'm just sorry.."

"Don't be," she shakes her head. "I'm just shaken up by it, I'll be okay," she says. She leans up to press her lips to mine and I hold the back of her head so her lips stay on mine. "But I have cramps,"

I forgot she got her period, I have literally no idea what it is and how to deal with it, because I was never shown or taught that. I slide my hand down to her stomach to put my hand there but I furrow my brows when I feel a hard thing under her hoodie. "I found a heat pack thing, so I brought it...please don't get mad,"

I shake my head. "I wouldn't get mad," I shake my head. "It's fine. But how can I help?" I ask, because I had no idea. She shakes her head.

"There's not much.." she breathes out.

I whack my head, trying to find a thing to help her but I was so focused on this all that I couldn't stop thinking about how I could've just been late for work and she could've been fine.

"I can run you a bath?" I speak, lost in thought. She looks up at me. "Would that help?" I look down at her. She nods softly.

"Please?" she whispers and puts her bottom lip. I nod softly.

"You're gonna have to get off me so I can," I say softly and she snickers. She shuffles herself up, using my chest to help her up. I needed a line right now honestly. Once she was off me, I stand up and pad to her bathroom, opening the door to see the bag on the floor in front of the toilet and a packet of pads open on the floor. I pick up the bag and see candy in there and it made me smile softly for some reason.

I wish I could've brought this for her as a surprise but clearly that didn't go well, and I didn't know she was actually gonna get her period here so it makes me a little bad she had to but it herself. I pick the bag up and take the candy out and place it on the counter.

I turn the taps and put the plug in the bath drain and I use some of the body wash I got her and it makes it foam with bubbles which makes me nod.

//
my poor babies :(

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