hostage || l.t ✔️

sixty six

his chest ^

Louis Tomlinson
London knows what she's doing, she'll be looking at me from across the room with a look and she'll get me turned on so easily. I turned 27, and she was now 19, because it was our birthday yesterday.

Yesterday, I completely went out of my comfort zone. I let her top, and I've never let anyone top after what happened with Anita. I tried not to think about it, but it just invades my mind, and I know hurt her but she's not saying anything.

I just wanna forget about what happened, but I can't, I've tried. Because it now makes me hurt London.

And I don't want to hurt her.

I wanna say something but maybe she doesn't want me to bring it up? When she said it, I wasn't going to let her, I was going to cut her off and ignore her, but then I realised that it happened years ago and I should be over it.

I'm still not over it, and I don't know when I will be. I mean, after it happened I knew exactly that it would stick with me forever. I don't want it too, I want to experience new things with London but it's difficult.

Fuck Anita.

I want to erase it from my mind, and forget about her, but it's so difficult.

London peels her eyes open and I tuck hair behind her ear. I didn't sleep much last night, she was just in my mind and keeping me from sleeping. I wonder what she's doing with her life right now?

"Hi..." she murmurs and stretches and I smile softly.

"Hi," I say, holding her hip.

"You okay?" she asks. "You know...after last night?"

I nod. "Yeah. Are you?" I sit up.

She nods. "Yeah."

I roll her on her stomach, and lift her shirt up, and her shorts down a little, seeing claw marks from me on her lower back, and she goes silent. I just softy run my fingers over her warm soft skin, feeling the indents.

I feel so guilty. "I'm sorry," I say, pulling her shorts up and pulling her shirt down. She looks at me.

"It's fine, I've done it to you," she lightens the mood and I shake my head.

"It's different. You do it in pleasure, I did that because I was thinking about the one bitch I hate." I say and she nibbles on her lip.

"It makes sense, but it's okay, you have reasons, valid reasons I couldn't be mad at you for that," she says. She's being way to nice about this.

"Stop shrugging this off." I shake my head. "I shouldn't have done it regardless and I do feel terrible."

"Louis, I can tell you right now that they don't hurt, I get why you did it, it's okay, I promise." she holds her pinky finger out and I look down at her hand. I roll my eyes and wrap my finger around hers. "Let's shower." She says, standing up. She walks around to my side of the bed but I grab her hips and bring her onto my lap which makes her yelp out. "Louis.." she warns but I roll us over so we were spooning and I squeeze my arms around her tightly.

"You're going to make me pee." she groans out as I squeeze her body.

"Pee."

"Ew, no."

"I don't wanna get up." I let her go and she stands up.

"C'mon." she grabs my hand and pulls me up. I roll my eyes and follow her into the bathroom, closing the door behind us. She turns the water on and we undress and I face the mirror.